I ran across this poem this week and it reminded me of countless conversations we’ve had with people (especially students) over the past few years. We’re sharing it here because it’s good to be reminded that we’re not alone. The Butterfly Project by Mariah Raines She remembers the days When the worst thing you could do Was steal somebody else’s marker. She was as innocent as a lamb (simile), When her days consisted of Playing on the playground, Drawing butterflies dancing on flowers (metaphor), And going inside before the street lights came on. But then her mother went away for a little while, At such a young age she was forced to realize The world is full of ugliness. It used to be a beautiful sanctuary to people everywhere in her mind’s eye. When her mom’s boyfriend Sent her to school With bruises, She finally realized that the world, Is an awful place, Full of angry people And broken dreams. At only nine years old, She lost her father. A terrible mix of anti-depressants and heroin. Along with the names she got called, She became friends with a shiny piece of metal. The kids at school Sent her home Each and every day wishing She wouldn’t wake up the next morning. She tried to show how Lost she felt. But her mother was too blind. Broken, battered, and bruised (alliteration), She started to wear long sleeved shirts, To hide her thriving pain from her small group of friends. She didn’t want them to see her hurting. She wanted them to believe she was alright. She started to wear her blade Right next to her dog tag. The one that her best friend got her. She went to camp With scars all over her arms. She thought she was alone, That she was the only one who felt so terrible about herself. But she met somebody. Someone like her. She looked her dead in the eyes and attempted a smile. You’re sick of feeling numb. You’re not the only one.(rhyme) I’ll show you a world you can understand. This life is filled with hurt When happiness doesn’t work. Trust me and take my hand. (lyrics) She smiled at the girl’s words Because she wanted to trust But she was terrified out of her mind. How could she trust her, When she didn’t even trust herself. She went home that summer With butterflies on top of her scars. Each one a symbol of somebody she was trying to stop for. There wasn’t that many. She didn’t feel anybody cared. She was packing her things in some boxes, When she got a call from a long forgotten friend. A smile forced it’s way upon her lips As tears gently ran down her cheeks. A soft and soothing voice Reassured her. I know that you’re wounded. You know that I’m here to save you. You know I’m always here for you. (lyrics) As she cleaned out her locker, Her best friend jumped into her arms, Begging her to not leave. It leaves several scars (other poem) Over the years But it lets out our screams And as well as our fears. It gives us relief. They become such a burden, But we do it anyway, Because we’re tired of hurting. Some call us psycho They know what to be. But we know they’re all wrong. We don’t know where we belong. We hide the scars Under jackets and sleeves Our loved ones don’t know The cuts stay unseen We try to act fine So no one’ll know But sometimes we slip And the cracks begin to show. She slowly let him go And told him goodbye, That this wasn’t the end, But he could tell she was dying inside. She came to another new school, Not looking forward for the days to come. She missed her old friends. She missed her old house. She missed her old life. She cut her wrists when they called her A necromancer, One who summons the dead. Because she was different, And because the teachers didn’t hear, It was ok. She sat at lunch for about two weeks, Before anybody noticed That she wasn’t eating. She wasn’t talking. They didn’t notice she wasn’t ok Until a teacher asked her why she hadn’t touched her tray. So she sat in math class fidgeting in her seat, Waiting for the bell to ring, So she could get away from the ones Who make her do this to herself. She went home one day, After being called an attention seeker One too many times, And she went in to her room. She turned up her speakers, And prayed to a God She long stopped believing in, That he would take her away, That he would take her somewhere happy. She cried and cried as her mom and stepdad argued Over her Once again. And in that moment she made an oath to herself. She went to school With a smile upon her face. She went home And had dinner with her family. She kept the broken smile glued on to her face For the millionth time. (hyperbole) She put on her favorite pajamas, She brushed her dirty blonde hair, She brushed her teeth, And took the rubber bands off her braces, The ones that were supposed to be pulling back her overbite. She waited until she heard her parents leave for work the next morning. And then she walked over to her desk, Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. She wrote one simple letter. One to say goodbye. She wrote down a list of names, And put the list on the top of the page. She smiled as tears hit the words she had written. She stood up and grabbed the rope she stole from her step-dad’s tool shed. She tied it like it said to on youtube. She threw the noose around the ceiling fan, Put it around her neck, Smiled with tears in her eyes, Whispered goodbye, And kicked the chair. Her mother came home and walked up the stairs, She opened her daughter’s door to say she was home. She gasped and fell to her knees when she saw what was there. Uncontrollable sobs racked her frame as she read the letter. Mom, Dad, Sisters, brothers, Everyone at school, I’m sorry. I’m gone now. There isn’t anything you could’ve done. If you could’ve done anything, I might still be around. You all were so blind. You couldn’t see I was hurting myself. I love you. Goodbye. helloindustry.tumblr/post/85635310833/a-poem-by-mariah-raines
Posted on: Tue, 13 May 2014 17:03:44 +0000
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