I realized, just now, why certain things have happened in my life. Or rather, I realized where and who I might be if they had not happened. I am a Mormon. Yeah, of course, you all know that. What you probably dont know, because I didnt fully know until just now, is why. I am a Mormon because Rachel died 12 years ago. I am a Mormon because this religion and its doctrines keep alive the tiniest faintest of hopes that I might see her again. When you are faced with the death of someone you love so dearly, and are forced to ask that question. THE question. When you stare into the abyss, this church stands out as a light in the darkness. And then longer you study it, the more you realize it is the only light - and every other light you may see is a reflection of it. I struggle. God knows I have my doubts and fears and my own torment of tantalus toils. And those who know me best know I question EVERYTHING. There are days when I would give almost anything not to believe it. But the one thing I wont give... is that hope. And thus, in spite of everything that might pull me away, I am a Mormon. Oh, there are also those things like answers to prayers, revelation, spiritual confirmations, the voice of God, angelic choirs and visions and miracles. But those can only carry your faith so far. At some point, you have to *decide* to believe. https://youtube/watch?v=6jLJtfZuG38
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 03:31:56 +0000
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