I received a random email today, from someone in Nebraska, saying he had seen the Weather Channel documentary about the May 20th tornado. He asked me, Why did you get so hysterical, and on top of that, film it all? You needed to be looking after the children. They were looking to you to take care of them. Losing control of yourself like that in front of them must have scared them beyond belief. Im glad this person has never had to endure what the citizens of Moore had to that day. I am certain I was not the only one that day to lose control or let out a scream. Also, I have heard the Why in the world were you videotaping? question, and I dont mind speaking to it. I knew from the beginning, that while sharing the video I happened to take would hopefully bring support and understanding of what Moore went through, it also would open me up specifically to criticism. I had no idea how that tragic day would unfold, nor did anyone else. We could not have known what a monster storm was about to directly hit us. (Of course, weather forecasters and some who were watching the weather knew a little more.) I knew to be weather aware that day, but I was in front of my class teaching when the intercom direction to follow tornado safety procedures came. Storms are unpredictable. We knew there was a serious threat, and we took the best precautions we could, as did everyone in Moore. With the power out, in the darkness of the bathroom, some teachers clicked the flashlight app on their phone. I was replying to a friend who asked if we were ok, and I asked what she knew. At that moment, a student who had already been checked out burst into the bathroom, with her mother, drenched and hyperventilating. I knew then, they had seen it, and came back, unable to get away from it in time. By that point, our students were already scared, some were crying, and I feared seeing her would cause even more fear. I went over right by them, got down by the door, and as one of our teachers loudly said The Lords Prayer over the room, we heard the surreal pelting of debris and the roar of the storm appraching. I clicked record at 3:17 just as I threw my arms over the student and her mother. For a moment, everything felt very out of control, like being on a roller coaster ride, just squinching your eyes, hanging on for dear life, and yes, screaming at the top of your lungs. (That was the one brief moment that I guiltily feel I showed my fear.) The phone was just in my hand, and I thought it would mainly pick up the sound, since the room was pitch black. I remember seeing (hearing) similar footage of the Joplin tornado, and felt pretty sure we would be talking later about what we were experiencing! I did not think our lives were in danger, though at one point, I want as sure. I was so relieved to hear the storm moving away, and we were still there! I kept the phone at my side as we came out into the hall. All footage is either pitch black or upside down and moving around, but has been edited when added to any interview. I have even read comments where people said, Why did she talk through the whole thing? as if I were making a movie. Believe me, I was in full-on teacher mode, focusing solely on doing my very best to keep my students safe and calm, to the extent that I have been criticized for not running to my own children, Mari and Sam. Where I was in the building, it was not that bad, and I truly didnt understand what everyone else had just gone through (for days really). I actually said to Sam, (not knowing he had just had the roof ripped off over his head), Youre with your Mommy now. These kids arent with their Mommy. Its very easy to get an abbreviated version of an event, and cast judgment. I get it. But unless you were there, its hard to know exactly how one would react. So, what would you say to this person?
Posted on: Fri, 02 May 2014 21:10:24 +0000
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