I rediscovered these written words yesterday not realizing the significance of July 17th. I had not shared theses final thoughts with my wife Tricia till yesterday. One year ago today, a chapter closed in my/our lives. In memory of my mother in law……Doris. Thought I would share my words with you. Have a great day! ~RG~ On July 17th, I went to Doris’s apartment to pick up the last few items remaining. It was a somber journey as I made my way down the walkway that we had walked many times before. We would pass an apartment along our way and this little dog would always bark as we went by. I was recalling the sights as sounds as I walk toward the apartment for the last time. As I reached the door, I looked at the doormat and I visualized Doris trying to get her walker up the lip of mat so she could enter the door. I put my foot on the mat to feel it one last time. When I entered her apartment, the familiar smell of her apartment hit my senses. I walked slowly towards her room and as I could see the outline of where her bed used to be. The entire room was now void of anything. I looked into her closet and I could still see all of her clothes hanging and how sharply dressed she used to be. I always thought she looked cute with the clothes she wore. I walked to the center of the room and stood at the end of the bed like I did when I would look at her while she lay in bed during the last two weeks of her life. It was comforting for me but yet sad at the same time. I truly had some of the best moments of my life experiences in this room. I walked over the side of the bed and I imagined me stroking her head like I did before and after she passed. I closed my eyes and told her goodbye as I moved my hands through the air as if she were still there. I thanked her for allowing me the opportunity to care for her. I could still hear the machine running that supplied air for her to use while she slept. I walked into the living room and sat on the sofa where I had spent many days while she was in hospice care. I closed my eyes and imagined Doris sitting in her recliner and I could hear her voice when she would say, I love you whenever Tricia and I would leave her apartment. I walked over and stood where her feet would have been and I told her thank you for your love...and she said.... thank you for taking care of me.... I love you. I could sense some energy as I stood there in silence hoping to hear something else. I slowly walked to grab the phone and lamp that I needed to pick up and walked to the front door. I turned around to take one last look into the apartment and thought how quickly everything has disappeared. I opened the door and shut it while holding the key. I turned the key knowing this was the last time I would be there. I recalled the times I left Doriss apartment as I heard the click. I looked at the number on the door and turned around to leave for the last time. I felt heaviness in my chest and I took a deep breath and then began the slow walk up the sidewalk to my car. I visualized Doris walking with me like she used to when we would take her to breakfast of lunch. I could hear her say.... my legs are not long enough as she got into the Honda. I started the car and slowly backed out knowing this was a final chapter but the memories will always remain and she will live on in spirit watching over us.
Posted on: Thu, 17 Jul 2014 16:00:08 +0000
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