I reflect upon the what ifs, coulda, shoulda beens... Where I thought I would be by now when i was 16, where I think i should be today and I am sorely disappointed. Then I remember the path, the choices, the burdens I chose to bear because I felt they were mine to bear and I ask myself would I have changed anything? Maybe but then who would I be? Better? I doubt it. I have faith in my upbringing, I hold faith in my beliefs, my sense of honor. If I had broken any of those to better myself would I really be a better woman? I am not saying Ive been a saint because Lord and a whole lot of people know I havent been. Some days Im at my best, most days Im doing the best I can and frankly some days Im just making it through. I guess what my heart is trying to say is to accept that my life isnt so bad even if I am not the federal Judge I once thought Id be by now. I dont have money, the house or the prestige I thought id have. I do however have a family and friends I love beyond words. I have my hopes and dreams still even though their much simpler then I once had. I still have my love for humanity even after all these years of tears. I still see a life, a world, a community, a family worth fighting for. There is still much work to be done. Lord i am your servant guide me in your will.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 05:02:32 +0000
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