I relate, in a way, to movies like Untamed Heart, Amelie, Only the Lonely, Taxi Driver, One Hour Photo, Edward Scissorhands, Rainman, A Beautiful Mind and Forest Gump. I am a complexity and a paradox. I am an open book non-verbally...I have no problem wearing my heart on my sleeve or making my soul transparent...I pour myself out through music or in writing...and in these ways, I hide absolutely nothing from the world surrounding...in these ways, Id convey my entire life story even to a stranger. But there has always been a protective shell to cover the unsure, insecure, unconfident surface of this introvert whenever live and in living color. I do my best to be polite or professional but find it difficult to string a few conversational words together even with someone who might have already read my life story. My voice is habitually suppressed, though I compensate for it through my openness and expressiveness in non-verbal ways. Still, this is no cure for the problem at hand. This has undoubtedly caused me to seem standoffish, unengaged, uninterested, unapproachable, unpleasant to many of you 1,400 people on my friendslist from a timeframe spanning many years. Perhaps this is due to a combination of social anxiety, oversensitivity, self-consciousness, unfamiliarity, and a desire to appear to suffer from none of the above. But I do. This is one of my hardships with which to live, it is one of my disabilities, and it is my baggage. I wish there was something more I could say about it. First of all, I want to apologize for being so introverted and not finding it something easy to get past and allowing it to divide me from so many of you whom I could have gotten to know better over the years. Second of all, I want to thank those of you who have looked past my surface and my shell, looked into my heart and soul, gotten to know me as I truly am, and accepted and loved me anyway.
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 03:09:26 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015