I remember a girlfriend once.... this is the first time watching this ending... and it reminded me of her. How we met at like 16 at a dance club for minors.... she worked as a bartender there...lol ironic... my best friend liked her... so I told him to 20 dollar her... (if interested ask me) but I totally had the hots for her... but bros first... lol then a few years later I ran into her again.... then years later hit on her when we worked for the same cellular company.... then even more years later... I met her again.... so many times over 18 years running into each other... not knowing who the other was at each event till we met the last time after i was divorced from a 10 year marriage....and we talked....and talked.... and fell in love... or so I thought. Fairy tale movie and tv endings.... they dont exist. At the time... it felt magical... like things that were meant to be were meant to be... I believed in fate... destiny.... true love... and to my hearts peril.... I believed in magical movie love story endings.... and for so many months I stayed alone. Waiting for that fairy tale ending to bring that love back.... I tried to stay alone.... so I wouldnt miss my chance.... so I could prove to her... I could do it alone .... I could be alone. But... those films and tv shows and movies arent the reality. I lost everything in my divorce to find something I thought would be greater than that... and lost everything all over again. But today looking back.... maybe there was somthing to it all. I might not have came back to indiana at all if not for her.... thats just the truth. I ended up fighting a fight for my son... not sure if I was really ready for it. So I stayed. ... I sold my harley bought a house... worked endless hours doing a dangerous job no where related to my profession... that taught me to have strength in so many ways.... But I never had time for friends.... so like the dork I am I went internet. Just a friends site.... not wanting love... just companionship.... someone to talk to. Then I saw her profile.... her eyes... her smile And we talked.... and talked.... and talked. Then we met played some pool... spent the night together (I was pretty much a gentleman... and she was a lady... because nothing happened that night) I woke up thinking how nice it felt to hold someone again.... We kept seeing each other... shared all our secrets.... and I built her a bannister so she never fell down the steps again.... all the while her telling me not to... but I always love filling the needs of those I love or care about... In the time together.... ive bought the pool table we first played on... which sits in our tattoo shop we opened together... ive built her her deck... helped with the firepit.... built her her dream bathroom... and havent stopped wanting once to fill every want need or desire she has.... Because I love her. True love. Not some fairy tale that seemed like destiny. No my Destinys path led me to her. Given I dont think I can deal with another heart break.... id fall to pieces if I lost her.... because I truly love her with all my heart... The struggles and losses ive suffered at the hands of love brought me to my life now. And its perfect in its imperfection. Its real. And I wouldnt ask for anything else. Could I survive losing everything again? Sure... ive done it multiple times in my life.... and through that ive grown stronger than most... But why even consider it. Im happy... even when im not happy im happy. Because this life this love this everything is real I promised not to fall prey to fake fairytale endings ever again... I would never look at what I thought was my type... or what fits me more... I looked for what was real... what was true... what could handle the truth and had no fear of telling it either. Loyalty... honor.... friendship I found it without looking for it. And thank god for that. I am truly blessed.... Would it have been nice to have this ending with my love my sunrise my Dawn Collins... sure.... but fairy tales are for dreamers.... and I love my reality. It beats any love story. Why do I love her? Because she is the most honest real supportive loving caring intellectual individual ive ever met. Shes looked past my mistakes (and my pants left on the floor...lol)looks past my history...and all my secrets.... she has given me all of her.... and I have given her all of me..... it might not be some tv ending..... but I like our real life story way better. I love you is too simple a phrase... I adore you is too weak an expression... unconditionally defines it but wont ever scope the magnitude of how I feel for her. And I may make mistakes along the way.. but I will do my best to treat her the way I did when we met.... giving her all she wants needs or desires... and I will protect her and the life we have with the very life god gave me. Semper fi till I die... and if I did it for my country that denys me...think what ill do for my family.
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 08:28:32 +0000
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