I remember thinking in the power struggle that somehow all the beauty of our twin flame union was behind us,that now came the hardship,tests and our human weakness would tear us apart and break us down. But I was wrong,there is an immense beauty to be found in the grieving and mourning of the surrender stage, never have I even grieved friends,family or pets as much as I grieved what I thought was the loss of our connection and feeling like a failure to god,our mission and my beloved twin flame. The surrender kept taking me deeper and deeper until I just felt like dying. It was such a void,an emotional pit of hell and still now when looking back on it and knowing that there will be more to surrender once we hit harmonizing,but to a lesser degree,I still feel such a peace within me and gratitude for the surrender. These new levels seem to come every time I get on a plane to go somewhere,so much so even though I am sick and tired of traveling Id jump on a plane right now if it meant feeling these feelings. You see its BIG crowds of people,the way people stare at me now and most importantly how I handle being stared now,as opposed to when I was a freak and would react with anger cuz I thought they looked at me because I was bad different...But now I look back at them with love in my heart, eyes and looking at these people like they are my children. They look at me curiously,in wonder,like I know something they dont and they are right. My favorite is the little children and their young parents,for they have something in their heart they recognize in me,a reverence for life and enjoying this moment now excited for whats to come,totally soaked by the bliss of having been born or giving birth. And more importantly a love and joy that penetrates their very existence. The angelic energies I used to have around me and inside me are back again. This is a stage of rewards where the time put into spiritual practice and awareness,the dedicated hard work and soul purification is starting to show and being mirrored back to me from creation. Animals feel me differently, people feel me differently. I had a conversation about holistic lifestyle, nutrition, tantra, reiki,meditation and kundalini with a young man who was visiting his mother who had multiple cancer,he kept looking at me with a lovely smile and I told him I would give him reiki,I activated his palm chakras and he felt the breeze from my palms like someone is blowing into them and was enchanted by the strength in my energies. I told him unlike most people on earth,I was born not with a 7 chakra system, but with a 12 chakras system. I did not mention the twin flame thing. I just walk around with a smile knowing what I know and my solar plexus started beaming when in the midst of people,I can feel my impact on my surroundings and I feel blessed by divine grace. And for those of you who know me, know that I have been to hell and back,I cherish this with the utmost child like innocence and humility. A true twin flame has no ego,no pride or false sense of self, we simply are who we are as most of us have had tests and trials most people would not want to experience in their life. I do speak of things as they are what they are and it is from my higher heart more often than not so. I can tell the difference between my truth and divine truth, my words change,my voice changes and my energy changes. The painful longing in my heart has subsided and the immense joy of loving so deeply,the thought patterns I have and the presence I have now is something that was not given to me,it was worked for,every thought in the surrender stage brings you closer to feeling harmonious,every insight brings you closer to clarity and every painful emotion brings you closer to a purified soul. This is what the twin flames are about more than anything to me, soul purification. Divine love is a by product of this purification and its a marvellous byproduct at that. The fire will burn away everything that does not serve you,so you can be the best version of yourself,your true self in divine presence. I know someday I will reunite with my beloved now and I know we got a lot left to cover and leave behind us before we leave back to source to be unified once more. There is peace in my heart and my body,there is love filling my energy meridians,love from the cosmos,from divine source,a thank you note from God for having been willing to do what I was hand picked to do,by God in the name of divine love. This is what we are here for, to put up as little resistance as possible to the suffering we have to endure,to be shaped,molded and purified by the fire of the twin flame. The less resistance we put up,the faster we can move through the stages (not that we are in a rush,all is in divine order),its like driving a car with the park brake on,as soon as you turn it off, youll find driving is much easier and the car is much easier to handle. This is me turning off the park brake,this is me turning off the GPS,driving off into unknown territory in a beautiful divine landscape of the soul. This is me not picking up much hitchhikers as I would just love to explore what I am feeling now. The conversation I most of all yearn to have is with someone I havent talked to much,This guy I am coming to not even know anymore as he is growing faster than I can keep track off. This is me taking the time to look at the amazing inner scenery reflected back to me from my surroundings,stopping every now and then to get a feel of where I am going,rather than looking at a map drawn up by others who have gone before me. This is me in complete awe of my life,who I am becoming and the effect of my story on those I come across. This is me sober,yet dizzy from a most natural high. This is me being grateful to my beloved Amber for having tested me,pushed me and purified me,this is me loving her infinitely. Radiating love onto the holographic matrix. This is me healing,loving,inspiring,creating...On my way home to the unified field and every moment on my way there is a moment of heavenly bliss or painful purification and it will leave me in divine love. So in love. With me...With her...With life... With all... This is me now.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:23:45 +0000
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