I retired to bed knowing the next morning at 9; I had an appointment with Saruro. Saruro invited me to a birthday party of her girlfriend that was going to be held at Club Mamba. At first, being agoraphobic, I declined but promised her that I will let her know my stand when she insisted on the matter. She asserted that all invited were coming over with their partners and there was no way she could attend without me. I weighed up the matter and realized a ‘no’ will hang my hopes of keeping her by a thread and even risked losing her, so I accepted the invitation. Anyway, who doesn’t like flaunting the hottest things they got? I woke up to a text from Safaricom reminding me that my data bundle balance was below 2MB. I deleted the text without finishing reading it and got off the bed. I hurried and in an hour, I was good to go. Finally, I Left home an hour to 9. Just before I boarded a mathree, I heard my name called out. I looked back and saw Victoria, a good friend of mine whom we first met at a local disco show. What happened afterwards shall remain history. I have been giving excuses every time she asked for a date; anyway, every beginning must have an end. Victoria held me by my wrist and told me I wasn’t going anywhere and her prayers were successfully answered. This sounded like a joke to me. I recalled how difficult it is, always, to explain to Saruro why I was late or never picked her call and; leaving Victoria was not an option I would welcome either. I sensed trouble. Victoria on the other hand, was trying hard to convince me to go with her as I kept on smiling and giggling. I was in a catch-22 situation. My phone rang and I knew it was the first lady – Saruro – calling. Now, Saruro had this habit of rebuking me every time I began a conversation without the phrase ‘my love’ and thus it was absolutely impossible to do this in front of Victoria or anybody else for that matter. But again, if I did not pick, I knew all hell will break loose. I had to find answers jameni. Chap! Chap! A thought crossed my mind. What if I said that this is dad calling and has grown tired of waiting for me at his office? May be Victoria would excuse me. And what if I as well receive Saruro’s call and pretend am talking to dad who is there with me? May be she would not crucify me for not calling her my love. And it just went like that… “Vickie, sweety, dad is calling me unajua he has been waiting for me at the office and I have to hurry”, I claimed. “I promise I would get to you tomorrow at 2 in the afternoon”, I added. She smiled and gave me a hug. Damn! The hug was long; I grew impatient as it went for 3 more seconds. Finally, I was let go, but by then Saruro’s call was about to end, I received it while ‘talking to dad’ as I had planned earlier. “Daddy I’ve been inconvenienced haki, nisubiri naja.” And Saruro ended the call after her hallo hallo fell on a deaf ear. All this happened in less than half a minute and I proceeded to the roadside to take a Mathree. That was enough to tell me that I was blessed indeed. To get to the Club, I had to take two matatus; the first one would take me to the Ferry and the other to the Mamba club. I jumped into one, reached the first stage safely and took another from there. On the other hand, time was elapsing. I only had 10 minutes according to my Casio watch to get to Saruro. In the morning, the traffic police department started apprehending those who defied the new traffic rules which was passed into law just the previous day. Public Service Vehicles without speed governors were taken to the police station, and whoever did not fasten the safety belt or was a surplus passenger, according to the approved number of passengers for that particular vehicle, would equally be handed a fine or risk a jail term. With the intention of beating time, I didn’t want to wait for other Matatus that weren’t close and jumped into one that had excess passengers. Ole wangu! Sudden an unusual cries made by the people sitting near the door caught my attention. The conductor had realized the mess he was in and opted to jump off the running the vehicle than to safely wait and explain himself to the men in blue who were some 100 meters away. Apparently, it is not strange that a Kenyan will tell you why he/she will choose to run to robber than to a police officer. This signaled danger since I wasn’t anywhere near the door and were I even near it, I would still not choose to jump given that I so much fear getting injured. I was going to get arrested for the first time. They slowed down the mathree and few others and I were ordered to alight from it. We obeyed the orders and knelt by the roadside. I grew scales and started sweating despite the cold weather and the fact that I did not engage myself in athletics or jogged. The officers were three. After forcing us kneel, one went to scold the driver as the second one inspected the matatus and checked if people had fastened their safety belts while the last one proceeded to wave at another matatu to slow down. No man can serve two masters at the same time. This saying inclined me to think of whether I could escape this predicament – one of the rare problems that can as well be solved by bolting away from the danger zone. I first looked at them and confirmed that they didn’t have guns so it was safe and easy to bolt. I looked front, back, sideways and then pushed the guy who was at my back aside and looked at the road that was safe to escape on. I happened to touch my back and felt it was wet with sweat. My back looked wet like I had been just from a swimming session. However, this did not deter me from my escaping mission. Pedestrians looked at helpless us and blamed the officials and us in equal measure. They didn’t know what it felt by being in my shoes at that particular time. God won’t punish an ignorant man. Before the officer who stood by the driver walked to our side because he looked set to, I flew. The crowd that was watching us shouted and cheered me as I took the road. Long before the officers realized what had just happened, I was already gone, perhaps miles away. Ignore my unathletic body and you will place me in the same pot with Usain Bolt and Powell. Anyway, I was forced to be careful as I pretended to be doing physical exercise soon after I lost contact with the crowd at the traffic scene. Because running might sure put you in to serious problems as people would grow suspicious and rough you up. And it will be too late to explain yourself and what made you run. Unfortunately, in the process of avoiding two overtaking Lorries, I slipped into the side drainage and landed with my back. I felt pain that could only be equated to labour pain (though I just read it on books and journals). A middle-aged man walked towards me and pulled me out of the muddy trench. The stench that came off me could turn a rotten egg’s smell into a sweet fragrance. Just then I looked to my left and out of nowhere saw Saruro standing, looking at me with her mouth wide open…..
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 07:25:22 +0000
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