I sat in your driveway tonight , I cried til I didnt think I could cry anymore , and then I cried again, I saw u standing in the door way as if nothing changed I saw the outside light turn ionas if u clicked it for me becuz Im afraid of the dark, I heard your belly jiggling laugh and I cried, I cried for many reasons tonight, I cried for you ... I cried for me.... I looked in my passenger seat and could see the last road trip where we sat at the top of your driveway and talked , when I first pulled up my car slide down a bit and I remember when my car slide down the driveway and hit your tractor and again I heard that laugh ..... This isnt easy grandpa , you talked to me everyday, and right now Id kill to hear your voice, my phone rings and Im jumping, itll never say your name again , I wont get to hear you talk on my answering machine when I come home from work anymore , I wont sit late at night for pizza with you watching shoot em up bang movies, Chinese trips wont be in Honesdale just cause, a flood wont look the same without you watching it too, Im sure Ill call your number at least a few more times til I hear its disconnected, and Im sure Ill peak in your mailbox to see if theres any bills you dont want to even look at, the thought of you gone makes me ache and I cant grasp it, I know tomorrow is gonna be hell, but I know your pain free, and somewhere inside my stubborn selfish self Ill have to learn to accept that, but right now Im just not ready, I feel like my world has came tumbling down, and I cant fix it this time, and your advice isnt there to make it better, I made corned beef and cabbage tonight, I wish you coulda tried it, I wish you coulda said I made ya proud again, I will hold onto every little memory and keep pushing because I know you havent fully left us, i know your here somewhere, and I know one day Ill be able to see that face again, and tell you I love you and itll all be okay again one day, but grandpa.... Today Im not ready... I love you so much you stubborn old guy!! Fly high grandpa but know I cry with everything I have for the love I have for you ! My grandpa to some even my dad, my protector and one of my bestfriends... 💔
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 06:13:20 +0000
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