I saw William Abbotts post and thought I would share this experience with you. Last term Aliaah gave me a whole lot of stress about her academics. She told me that I was pressuring her, that she was studying without my constant scrutiny and insistence, and she made me feel terrible about pushing her to succeed. So, I spoke about it with my mother and told her that I had an idea. I told Mom that I was going to leave Aliaah to her own devices so that she would see first hand the consequences of not pushing herself academically. My Mom told me sometimes with a child they learn through experience...so she told me to do what I thought best. Aliaah was a 90+% performer in grade four and I helped her to maintain by insisting that she study, read, and do additional work. I know that the jump from Grade 4 to 5 is a huge jump but Miss Aliaah believed that she had it all covered because she was doing so well in Grade Four...she felt it was as a matter of right that she would do well whatever the grade.... Anyway, I told Aliaah that I was going to leave her to handle her own education and studies for the term and that she must do her best without my intervention, and I warned her that whatever the outcome, she was to accept it insofar as test results were concerned. She was happy and told me not to worry she had herself covered....everything was easy and going well...I didnt intervene even though I wanted to...I left her to go it the way she thought best. so at the end of term one I was in Parliament one evening and received a call which I saw was from her number. She had gotten back her test papers and she was in total shock...she was numb one second, dumb the next then screaming at the top of her voice because she had gone from an average of 90% to an average of 60% I listened to her cry and exclaim and say everything about how upset and how shocked she was....when I got home and her ranting and disbelief was all over, I said, Aliaah, are you now going to permit me to guide you with your studies? Are you going to accept when I insist that you read aloud every day and on weekends we do some extra work? Are you going to stop trying to get away from extra lessons on the evenings? She looked at me and said quietly, Yes Mum.I didnt rag her about her performance because I knew she remembered every word of our earlier conversation I went to Parents day and in speaking with her teacher I explained that I thought her capable of far better work and I told him about the strategy I had employed which explained her term one performance. He was stunned. He couldnt believe that I had left her to see what happens when she is in control of her own workload. I told him that for her to get the results and to intrinsically be motivated, I need her to understand truly that she has to put in the work and sincerely and genuinely make the effort. She has to know what that bad feeling feels like to truly appreciate the great feelng of accomplishment through real concerted effort. I have been working with her all term.AND she knows that her kindle and ipod are currently in my possession and will be given to her during the vacation ONLY IF THE GRADES IMPROVE SIGNIFICANTLY. Tomorrow she will get her report...STAY TUNED.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Apr 2014 22:25:43 +0000
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