I saw a post in a group my wife and I are in and commented on it. The post was a married womans cry for help in her marriage. Theyve been married for a short time and there has already been infidelity, physical abuse, arguments, etc. she also added in that they werent necessarily in love when they married. My response to her was one that I believe will be unpopular with most, but its the truth. Heres what I said in my attempt to help her... This will be long.... Being IN LOVE is a western civilization thing. In America weve created the fantasy relationship where both people are head over heels in love and you ride off into the sunset together and have 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. Then you have a family like Leave It To Beaver and other shows we grew up with where hardly anything goes wrong. We all know thats not true, its a facade that we embrace. With that being said, the word of God doesnt ask you to be IN love. It tells you to LOVE. More specifically it tells the men to LOVE their wives as Christ loved the church. Thats written because God knew that men would have issues with that. The physical abuse that you are suffering is terrible. He should be ashamed for even raising his hand to you. He needs to seek counseling for his anger management. You all also need to seek counseling together for the other issues. Everything you are arguing over comes from something you both want. You want it so bad that you will fight to get it. What this is, you all will have to figure it out and work on it with wise counsel. This is backed up by the word of God in the book of James. What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. (James 4:1-3 NLT) James asks a question Whats the source of the quarrels among you? Then he turns right around and answers his own question. He says it comes from evil desires within you. Guess where those evil desires come from.....your heart!!!! Everything you do good, bad, or indifferent comes from your heart. So, to fix your marriage issues both spouses hearts have to be dealt with. The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? (Jeremiah 17:9 NLT) I pray that you will seek out a bible believing counselor that will aid you in the Holy Spirit working on both of your hearts along with changed in lifestyle. Your husband also needs accountability partners. Men that are believers that will hold him accountable for his actions and not be afraid to tell him when he is wrong.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 00:44:38 +0000
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