I seem to tolerate my kids being kids fairly well, except for one thing. Complaining. And not just any complaining. The griping that occurs when they are spending days having fun. The ungrateful attitude amidst a vacation. This brings out the temper in me. I rarely EVER raise my voice in anger at my children. Yet, I feel a raging beast within when fit throwing and attitude rearing happens when they feel the slightest disruption to their play time. (Specifically the 6 year old) I think I surprised myself at the anger I felt upon hearing my child throw sass about driving home when we werent even in the car yet and just how unhappy she was going to be about it. This was done with one of her best defiant tones of voice. A switch flipped in me. As I reflect on why this makes me so angry, I find myself looking back on my childhood. I didnt have much. My childhood wasnt a fraction of the privileges my children experience. I think part of me is infuriated at the lack of appreciation, not bc of THEM, but bc I feel a resentment at not having experienced them myself. 6 year olds are egocentric by nature. I was mature beyond my years at that age due to experiencing the uglier side of life so young. I dont wish that on my children for a second. I think I need to make peace with what I lacked as a child and stop comparing my life with my children. They are actually experiencing a normal childhood, without daily suffering or lack of attention. They get to develop at a natural pace. While I think children should learn gratitude, I dont think it should come bc they go without or are scared mom is going to fly off the handle. They have hearts of gold and an innocence I envy. I need to work on my own sense of gratitude and patience and understanding. Im thankful my apology was accepted with love and ease. #bethechange #lifelessons
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 17:52:57 +0000
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