I share this with you, with Melissas permission: Hi Tom. You asked me to let you know my thoughts after reading your book. Admittedly, I havent finished it yet. I have to take it bits and pieces, only so much at a time. That being said, I get it. I get your perspective and how different it is than the one Ive been hunkered down in the trenches with for the better part of the last year. Or at least Im starting to. I wanted to share with you a piece I wrote earlier this week. I hope youll take the few minutes to read it. Thank you. All the best. ~Melissa https://breatheinbreatheoutlive.wordpress/2015/01/14/how-i-do-grief-and-my-serious-mad-girl-crush-on-jeanette-leblanc/ And this morning Melissa wrote: Tom Zuba I finished the book last night. And then read it again. Its definitely a perspective change, which you know from my blogpost last week that Im starting to change my perspective some (or trying). New...change...its like a habit, right? They say it takes an estimated average of 66 days to learn a new habit (keeping in mind that everyone is different). And when someone is engulfed in grief its so hard to focus and be rational and realistic. It takes a conscious effort to make a change. And when youre grieving EVERYTHING is SO HARD. So, I like this new way to do grief. I think society has spent so much time telling us to cry, grieve, get over it and be done....without really understanding all that goes into doing grief. We get so stuck because we dont give ourselves permission to really stop, lean in, feel it, be in it. Ride the grief. And we feel alone, disconnected, fearful of facing the grief. Sharing your story (x3) and the strength and endurance you show....it leads the way for others to not feel so alone. He made it through. 3 times(!). He made it through. Whatever Im doing now may or may not be working for me, but heres something else to try and and maybe it will help. And we can all use help. So, thank you. I will read the book again, I know, many times Im sure. xoxo Thank you Melissa. Thank you for being a teacher. (By the way, it only takes 21 days to form a new habit, not 66!!!) Yes. There is a new way to do grief. Folks can find my book here: barnesandnoble/w/permission-to-mourn-tom-zuba/1120806211?ean=9781600475658
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 12:19:26 +0000
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