I shared this in another group but I wanted to share this here as well. This past week was my 7 year survivorversary. Its hard to believe that its been that long. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago. Im grateful every day that Im still here, that I got a second chance, a third etc...when so many have not (including my brother in law who passed away from an aortic blood clot 15 months after I survived my PE.) I did not know how much being a survivor would change my life. I struggle with many of the same things as everyone on this list and others. . . the PE was a like a small snowball dropped from the top of the hill and as life moved on, the snowball just got bigger and my doctors discovered one thing after another it seemed. For a while, life seemed consumed by having survived a PE and coming to terms with its consequences in my life and that of my family. Ironically, I graduated with my Masters in May of 2008, 4 months after my PE. In May 2014, I graduated with my PhD in rhetoric, writing and professional communication and my dissertation topic was related to PE as a chronic condition and online support groups like this one and others in Facebook and the relationship to healthcare communication and patient self care - in that, having survived a PE has become a lifes work. The journey has become more about living day to day, moment to moment rather that the simply surviving mode I was in for quite some time at the beginning. The focus has definitely shifted away from self and is more about becoming a part of change, education and awareness. To those whose journey is just beginning or in the early stages still - there is hope - you might get knocked down a lot along the way but there is a point where there will be a shift and the good outweighs the negative. When I am physically having a bad day might not see that, and you might not either. Just know its ok to have a bad day - to want to pull the blankets over your head and hide - eventually though, you will find those days become fewer (even if more intense perhaps) and your good moments become brigher and more frequent. Surviving is only the first step. It is the beginning point, not the end. And with honesty, I can tell you its not all roses and its not all easy, but even having not had the PE, life would not have been all roses nor all easy steps. For me, this has made me learn to accept help from others; its made me learn the meaning of balance - not all work and no play - and its taught me a million other things that I didnt even know I did not know. Hang in there, if your journey is just beginning.
Posted on: Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:17:10 +0000