I shared this information privately yesterday. Today I need to share it publicly, for anyone who is feeling pain over the past. Wednesday was an anniversary of sorts for me. It was 20 years ago that, as a young Deputy Sheriff in the California desert, I shot and killed another human being. While I was driving home (for 800+ miles), I had time to reflect on it as I have many times. The difference that day was that for the first time since then, I felt free. While it is still an emotional issue to me, I felt released from the feelings of guilt, anger, judgement, and a whole bunch of other negative emotions. For the first time since that night, I felt Fathers loving arms cradling me and his gentle voice softly telling me that he was never angry with me over it. He told me the judgement I felt was my own and it was time to stop punishing myself, because I could expect no punishment from Him. I thank Father for his love, grace, and healing. I thank my wonderful friends in Best Life Group Ever for emulating that in earthly form after I told you so many months ago. I thank Dr. Dean Haddock for walking with me all of those years, sharing my pain, and sharing the hope that kept me going. I thank Yolanda for being gracious and patient with me, even when I didnt deserve it. I thank so many of my friends, whom I couldnt begin to list, for being there whether I knew it at the time or not.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 18:01:36 +0000
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