I should get a new journal, or a blog haha but fb suffices for - TopicsExpress

I should get a new journal, or a blog haha but fb suffices for now. My heart is so heavy.All I can think of is the struggle, disappointment, loss, depression, and frustration in the world. So many of my friends and people I have cared for are being forced to settle into a life thats nothing what they dreamt of. Im aching for them to feel Loved, wanted, needed. To be thrilled to wake up each day, to go to jobs they truly are passionate about and to LIVE. I pray incessantly for them to feel peace, joy, to be healed from any pain, and yet Im a burden unto myself. My passion for them is often shown in ways that frustrates them more and it kills me. I dont know how else to show it, but dear Lord I am desperate for them to be genuinely happy! Not to hurt, struggle, hate or crush themselves. Yea, I suck at life a LOT haha I get frustrated, stressed, cranky, bitter, lonely and hurt often. I fight daily to be kind, gracious and Loving. Its not easy but it does happen sometimes haha. When it does its the most incredible peace. I know Im cared for and Loved by a God thats unimaginable. Take the happiest, most loved moment of your life and multiply it by infinity. That is what is possible. That is what I want for everyone I know. So why is it hated? Why is my heart shattered when I see those around me? Why do I feel hated, and cast off? Ive been heartsick for months in certain situations.... I can only pray and hope that its different one day. Lord I dont see HOW You love us so unconditionally when we are so broken and bitter. Thank you. Seriously THANK YOU.

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