I sit here this morning and I honestly cannot believe we are at 2 years since the accident. Where does the time go? Why does the time fly by so quickly? I still sit here and think about everything we could have done differently. What if he didnt take that last call? What if he would have taken 42 instead? What if I would have hired a different attorney? What if I fought harder? What if I would have dealt with ICE directly? See these questions can kill you. These questions can drive you into depression and actually make you insane. So I try not to think about them, I try not dwell on what ifs but what is. No our life is not as imagined and we dont understand why the change but the fact is...God is in control and He knows exactly what He is doing. There are times that my flesh takes over and I get angry, upset but then I am reminded on how good our God is, how He has blessed us, watched over us and has NEVER let us down. There are times I look back and I wonder how we survived, how we faced everything thrown our way. The accident, deportation in the middle of the night, 9 months apart as a family, watching our whole lives walk through our doors at a yard sale, the good byes and see ya laters, the false accusations after moving here, living 12 in one home, the van issues, the adjustments to Mexico, the robbery, the health issues I continue to face, the kids being tossed into the school system in a week time frame, my husband hating his job. It seems that every time we turn around there is something else happening, something else needing done but then I sit at the dinner table at night and I listen. I listen to the stories of school, the giggles at Daddys stories about the rude people he has to deal with, I listen to the improvements of their Spanish and the talking of friends. I watch most importantly at their smiles, their eyes because see it doesnt matter what has been thrown at us, we are a family and that is the most important thing. This hasnt been easy and honestly no one understands. We have faced a lot of emotions, situations, feelings, issues that no one will ever know about. We have fought as a family, we have cried as a family, we have prayed as a family. There have been times that we all wanted to quit, to give up but we all know that is not the answer. See the Lord has given us the answer from the very beginning, the answer to all the struggles, all the trials, all the fights, the answer is OUR FAMILY. The last 2 years, we have grown as individuals, we have grown as a couple, we have grown as a family but most importantly we have grown as Christians. This trial is not fun, it is heartbreaking daily but we will stand STRONG, we will keep the FAITH, we will stay on our KNEES and we will STAY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY. We thank the Lord for our trial because it has taught us so many things and I thank the Lord for my family because without them, I couldnt survive this. Without their prayers, their hugs and their love I would fall, we all would fall without each other. I also thank the Lord for each of you because your support, your love and your prayers have helped our family through many dark nights. What God brings you to, He will see you through! This is so true, there is a reason for our trial, there is a reason for the burden we carry and someday the Lord will show us why. He will show us what to do with what we have learned, He will direct us to whom we can help because we already walked this road. I dont like the trial, I am not strong enough to handle it at times but my GOD IS and that is where I will continue to put my TRUST.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 13:59:33 +0000
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