I spent much of today surprised at myself for not feeling more emotional. My heart felt somewhat neutral and I couldnt get my head around it. This just isnt like me. I arrived at the mosque for Maghrib and after prayers sat with a group of women outside of the mosque as we made Dhikr In unison like a thousand tongues praising Allah.Purifying ourselves by seeking Gods Forgiveness, perfuming ourselves with Salawat un Nabi and loosing ourselves in La Ilaha il Allah. I looked up at the almost full moon and realised the next full moon Ill see will be hosted in a London sky inshaAllah. I watched a tribe of birds fly by in formation making perfect patterns through the night sky. This is my last night in Medina. It was starting to sink in. After the Dhikr a brother recites poetry praising the Prophet (saw) until Isha. Truly this time is golden for me and I knew I would miss it. After being gently reprimanded by a beautiful Mauritanian Aunty for wearing jewellery without my husband being here indicating all adornment should be for him, I went to greet my Shaykh who sits on the opposite side of the mosque. On the way I saw a friend of mine and told her I was leaving tomorrow, her response was shock and sadness, it made me teary but I tried to hold it in. Its my tradition to go greet Shaykh Mahy Cissé after Dhikr and it always strikes me how his eyes always sparkle like stars under the African night sky as he returns my Salaam. Afterwards I went to the final resting place of the Saints of this City - Shaykh Ibrahim Niasse, Sayyidi Ali Cissé, Shaykh Hassan Cissé and other sons of Shaykh Ibrahim (May Allah make cool all of their graves and fill them with light) And whilst there the tears began to flow, in fact whenever my heart feels heavy I sit at the feet of Shaykh Ibrahim Niasse and it all comes flowing out. These were tears of gratitude though, I am indescribably grateful for what I have experienced here in Medina Baye, it has exceeded my most elevated expectations. God favoured me the day He brought me to this path, I swear. As I resumed my space next to the Mauritanian Aunty, I tried to cover my face so my rolling tears werent visible and when the Adhaan was called it felt like every word was descending into my body like light rain. In the outer courtyard of the Mosque a solitary Mauritanian woman was making Dhikr Allah, Allah, Allah into the night sky, so simple yet piercing drifting around us all. We prayed then I stayed to continue my personal Dhikr - Astighfirullah, Ya Latif, Salatul Fatih and after I finished I prayed like my life depended on it. Hands cupped, prayers and tears and hope and gratitude and anticipation that all that I have deposited here - every prayer, Dhikr, sadaqa, fast and act of Ibadah will be accepted. I didnt want the night to end, I wanted to stretch this moment over eternity, so I could sit quietly remembering Allah and having intimate conversations with Him forever. Medina Baye you have truly been a refuge for this City girl, you have granted me solace, and ease and a chance to draw close to the One who is never absent. May Allah give us Allah! ❤
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 03:14:47 +0000
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