I spent some time at the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing today. There were about 8000 women there, from computer science students to the CTO of the United States. There were also exhibits by all the big companies who are trying to hire for diversity. It looked like a real coup for women. But... There was also a keynote by Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, a man whose remarks I was really enjoying when he threw a real curve ball at me by saying women shouldnt really ask for raises because if they just applied their special gifts karma would bring them a raise. Was he saying turn on the womanly charms? Just sleep your way to the top? What special gifts????? Talent and competence? What? Dont ask for a raise? Men ask all the time! Men not only ask for a raise, they threaten to leave if they dont get one. And rightly so. I recently saw a study that proved that people who stayed at the same company for more than two years earned 50% less over the course of their lives than people who job hopped. So lets see...take 78% of the salary a man makes, compound it with some loyalty and the hope that karma will take care of you, and youre likely to end up in an equal position? Baloney! I dont know WHY men are so afraid of assertive women, but they are. In my humble opinion, based only on five marriages and about fifty relationships that ranged from long affairs to one-night stands, men hate confrontation. They dont WANT you to lean in because it makes them uncomfortable. Im sure theres some not-so-subtle psychological explanation for this like I hated it when mommy got mad, or the teacher makes me feel like a bad boy. Whatever it is, you should have nothing to do with it, ladies. Give them all the confrontation they need to get what you want, or you will find yourself in the position of the 50s housewife who gets left for the secretary after bearing all the children and entertaining all the clients. Having spent fifty years being financially independent, I have a few suggestions for those who can still make better decisions than I did: 1) Never grovel for a job, even if its one you think you want 2) Dont work for cheap (this is my fatal flaw) 3) Dont commingle your finances with your husband/partner 4) Maintain your own income, credit, bank account 5) Leave your jobs when you want to, and leave your marriage if thats not okay with the hubs (when I became an entrepreneur my husband left ME) 6) Do not live in fear 7) Keep on growing your skills, learning, and reinventing 8) Report the stalkers to the authorities and be a whistleblower if you must 9) Dont take the pushy woman stuff seriously, and develop a thick enough skin to weather everything but actual death threats 10) Continue to do your best and offer your wisdom, even if the men in the room roll their eyes (you know who you are, big tech company who did that to me). Someone else will appreciate what you bring to the table.
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 23:42:35 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015