I spoke to my friend Juan recently. I told him that I missed living in Los Angeles, even after after over two decades of being away from home. Funny that I should still consider that place home. Juan responded by saying. Its not the same place you and I remember. Its changed allot since youve been gone Of course it has I thought to myself. Nothing is constant but change . Right? IT WAS LATE NOVEMBER, TOWARDS THE END OF THE 1980S. WE PULLED INTO THE PARKING LOT OF THE APARTMENTS ON ST. MARYS ROAD WITH OUR U-HAUL TRUCK. THE PLACE REMINDED ME OF A CHEAP MOTEL, SO DIFFERENT FROM THE PLACES MY LITTLE SISTER AND I HAD LIVED IN PICO UNION AND McARTHUR PARK BACK IN LOS ANGELES. EVERYTHING WAS EARTH TONES, STUCCO AND A MEDIOCRE ATTEMPT AT DESERT LANDSCAPING. THE MANAGER LED THE WAY TO A SECOND STORY APARTMENT IN THE REAR OF THE COMPLEX. THE APARTMENTS WERE MADE OF THE CHEAP WOOD FRAME AND STUCCO , SLAP TOGETHER ARCHITECTURE WHICH WAS TYPICAL OF TUCSON TOWARDS THE END OF THE LAST CENTURY. THE MANAGER, A MIDDLE AGED ANGLO FELLOW IN A DIRTY WIFE BEATER AND PUFFING ON A BIG STINKY CIGAR OPENED THE DOOR FOR ME AND MY LITTLE SISTER. WE WERE MET WITH THE AROMA OF DISINFECTANT AND STALE SWEAT THE THE LAST OCCUPANTS OF THIS PLACE LEFT BEHIND. MY IMMEDIATE INSTINCT WAS TO TURN AROUND AND HEAD BACK TO L.A., BUT INSTEAD MY LITTLE SISTER AND I WALKED INTO THE SMALLL TWO BEDROOM APARTMENT AND CAUTIOUSLY LOOKED AROUND AT OUR NEW HOME. WE BOTH TRIED TO ENVISION A LIFE IN YET ANOTHER PLACE IN A LONG STRING OF STRANGE PLACES WE HAD BOTH NAVIGATED IN OUR LIVES THUS FAR. WHAT HAPEND NEXT MIGHT NOT SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL TO ANYONE READING THIS, BUT IT REMAINS SCORCHED INTO MY MIND AND MEMORY. IT WAS BEYOND A BAD OMEN, IT WAS A SLAP IN THE FACE, A RUDE WELCOME TO A PLACE AND A STRING OF EVENTS THAT WOULD DEFINE MY LIFE IN TUCSON. I WALKED INTO THE SMALL KITCHEN TO LOOK AROUND. I REACHED OUT AND OPENED THE DOOR TO THE DINGY REFRIGERATOR. THE FIRST THING THAT STRUCK ME WAS THE PUTRID SMELL OF ROTTING FLESH, FOLLOWED BY THE SIGHT OF A DEAD RAT LAYING ON ONE OF THE SHELVES INSIDE THE REFRIGERATOR. AT THAT MOMENT I FELT UNWELCOME. I FELT BETRAYED, I FELT STRANDED IN THIS DESERT, AND I FELT A RAGE AND DISGUST THAT I WOULD CARRY WITH ME FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. WE DIDNT KNOW IT THEN, BUT DEATH WAS ON OUR HEELS. I MADE IT A MATTER OF PRINCIPAL TO NOT LIKE THIS NEW PLACE I LIVED IN. I RESISTED AND FOUGHT AGAINST EVERYTHING AND EVERY ONE. IT WAS NOT UNTILL THE FISRT OF MY THEREE CHILDREN WERE BORNE THAT I COULD BE AT PEACE IN THIS NEW PLACE, THAT I COULD ACCEPT IT ON ITS TERMS AND REALLY BEGIN TO HEAL. I FEEL THAT I HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE IN MY LIFE. I THINK I MAY WANT TO GO HOME AGAIN. Anyway enjoy the song.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 03:53:34 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015