I think I might be too hard on my body. This morning Im running around in a running skirt while doing skype sessions, writing blogs, making breakfast, drinking coffee, checking facebook and planning/prepping dinner. (Im a busy woman). I look down at my legs. Im a bit critical of my Triathletes thighs (as my husband affectionately calls them) because of my lack of thigh gap. On a whim I tensed my quads and poked them a few times. The skin moved. My broken knee retains its disturbing Quasimodo form *shrug* I know my calves are strong because they spent part of the night cramping up on me and leaving me in tears (front and back of the calves). My legs are tree trunks of solid muscle. My legs, the part of my body I was the most proud of when I was younger, propel me through multiple classes a week. They take me through resistance training, spin class, Rizzmic, PiYo and Turbo Kick. They do so only complaining every once in a while when I fail to stay properly hydrated or nourished. I look at other instructors who carry their weight differently than I do, and they are comfortable enough to wear tight clothes without self consciousness. I carry spare skin from when I was significantly heavier and will always carry that extra skin. But I spend so much time being worried that Im not stick figure thin. My belly rolls which bulge less than others, mortify me when Im in tank tops or close fitting clothing. I was tiny in high school (if you can count a size 10 as tiny) because I danced - DAILY - for hours. I want the strength of my upper body to reach the strength of my lower. I want to be able to do (quite a few) pushups and pull ups. I think its time to change my focus and be a bit more gentle and appreciative of what I do have. And the Triathletes Thighs... I wouldnt trade that for the world. Its one hell of a complement. Hes calling me an athlete. He could give me no greater complement (and he knows it :) which is why I love him)
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 16:16:29 +0000
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