I think in the New Year Im going to try and give yoga a real chance. Ive stayed away because of the whole culture surrounding it. Ive met so many of the yogi stereotypes that I chicken out from fear of being lumped into a category with them. But why should I let a judgmental state of mind keep me from doing something healthy for myself? Its great for getting (and staying) in shape and would probably help me with my back and neck pain. But I also admit that I would get jealous of others abilities in classes and let it discourage me rather than remember these people have been working hard for their physical triumphs. Ive always had an embarrassing lack of flexibility. Being in musical theater, I would be surrounded by skinny girls who could do a split without any effort. In response I would beat myself up over it. Telling myself Im the fat giant whos never going to be cute and compact. Its time for me to stop being that girl. Changing into a healthy lifestyle can be scary because it really makes you start to examine your mental state and how you relate to your body. My analysis is that Ive hated mine so I never tried to be good to it. Ive spent so many years abusing myself and not always consciously. Its scary because you realize how easy it is for abuse to turn into a cycle and this is one I need to stop. Sorry younger self, but I just cant listen to your dreary nonsense anymore...
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 00:34:35 +0000
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