I think it was Ephesians that I was reading today, or Hebrews last night, and realized God has really always been with me even before birth. I knew this for a while but have recently received revelation. Praise Jesus! Well when I was 15 I ran away from home, it was the coldest part of Winter on a cold year. Being the arrogant rebel that I was I left the house with nothing but the clothes I had on, Short sleeve shirt, and jeans. I had nothing else....So I slept in the woods a couple of nights, or at least tried to I was so cold all I could do is shiver, and after the first night I found a blanket, actually a bed spread, and it was actually clean....too good to be true! Well after I found that I started finding stuff so randomly. Friends I hardly knew that well offered me food, clothes and help, including a nice coat! God bless those friends! I was literally a mess, stealing to eat and survive and smoking to stay warm and curb my hunger...was really a mess, but proud. Well after a few days I was traveling on the railroad tracks, I traveled them so I would not get caught or have to answer to anyone. It was really early morning like 1 or 2 AM and all of a sudden a train came and I ran down in the ditch to cover up so I did not get pelted by rocks, or anything. Well as I was leaning down I noticed a giant box fell off the train literally 10-15 feet in front of me, and I rejoiced. I dreamed it was food, clothes all sorts of things, but it ended up being a box full of airplane pillows that are disposable, but I thought warmth and a bed! So I could not even carry this box with what else I had accumulated so I carried with me what I could. Then I found an old shack used for storage at the end of an apartment complex, actually about 100 yards from BFA lol. So I stayed in there with my 20 some pillows, my bedspread, many many cigarettes and my shaking body. Still even with all of this and the shack the wind was blowing straight on my skin. All I could do at night was shake and hope for resolution, but was stern on not giving up. Well eventually I got really hungry after about a week of no food I came to realize my 130 lbs was reducing fast, so I called home and went home. I found out that on my way home tonight from work, as I passed my former habitat, God was there, and the reason I survived. He was the one that led me to my friends and gave them the compassion, he was the one who led me to the blanket and the pillows, and he was the one who made me come to terms with my ignorance as well. He kept me safe and away from trouble even though I was really searching for it. Many years after I skipped school for about 3 months in 11th grade, and I finally got in trouble, was sent to rehab and probation and psychiatric evaluation, to be honest I was crazy and didnt care. Well eventually I got back to school and my first class. Now I was arrogant so I came in the class as high as someone could and still walk. The teacher smelled it at his desk and came to lecture me. He said Alex, this is the final test and it is so important for you, and you come in smelling like a party. He said you need an A+ just to pass this class, and to be honest I didnt even know half of the formulas or more, it was geometry...not my strong point to this day. Half of the class was laughing at me, and I just squirmed a little. Well somehow I knew it all, and did exceptional, got the highest grade in the class. The girl that sat in front of me asked me how I did it, and I thought it was because I am smart, definately not it, I am not sure why he did it but it was God. I could not have done it especially being high, but passing that class was one of the reasons I did not drop out, God was giving me a learning curve maybe? I am telling you this not to glorify sin or my past nature, but to show you the love our wonderful God has for us, and how he is merciful even to the biggest heap of garbage like I used to be. If you look back on your own lives I can almost promise and guarantee that God was all over your life as well. Now I got Holy Spirit confirmation on the test, but the run away part was revelation, so take it as you will. But I see now that when things are not possible for me to accomplish they can only be done with God and the Holy Spirit. Math is not a subject you fake it and make it, I did not have the formulas but somehow I did and knew it amazingly well. I feel so ashamed of my past, but I know this glorifies the Lord! I dont care if everyone shames me and laughs or points, I deserve so much worse, and he needs to be glorified and exalted for unfailing and unconditional love even to an atheist that wanting nothing more than to hate and disprove Him. He truly loves us all no matter where you are in life or where you will be later on, his love has no bounds and is always there for us to receive. If we only grant him the knowledge that he exists, and his son Jesus died for us as a a sacrifice then every situation in our lives will be filled with his glory and his grace. To acknowledge the greatest act in history is all we have to do....and we stomp on it like we are important or worth something! Really take a look at this world, everything in it and what you choose instead of true life...WAKE UP Jesus did not sin one time, NOT ONE TIME and he sacrificed himself, for us! So the one perfect being left this Earth so that he could become one with us, and guide us into his Father, as he was already, THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL LOVE! Forgive me if I go to far into my past, but it shows his grace and love that is beyond anything we can do. He is Glorious in every sense of the word, nothing we can do will ever shake him or change his resolve, EVER!
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 05:40:28 +0000
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