I think its an appropriate evening to dispel a long-held myth... about Peanuts. Im sure youre all thinking that Im going to debunk the Great Pumpkin, but thats old news... thats the Bigfoot of the comic world. Im talking about the real culprit. The guy that really stinks... and its not the guy THEY want you to think stinks... Although Pigpen is normally portrayed as dirty, its simply some serious eczema - hence the dirty complexion (check WebMD, which not that Ive referenced MUST be true) and a cloud of personally designed nanobots that do his bidding (the cloud). Pigpen is actually a polymath, persecuted by his peers but actually designing tools that keep the Utopian peanuts civilization running smoothly. Its not possible that dirt: would cause the persistent, sentient cloud that seems to follow Pigpens every whim. The physics just dont add up. The culprit, the guy who really stinks is Linus, who I posit concocted the entire Pigpen conspiracy to skirt blame and take control. Its the classic he who smelt it defense. Linus ALWAYS carries around that blanket... the blanket that all logic implies MUST smell terrible after all of these years. In Its the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Charles Schulzs triumphant epic of autumnal despair, Linus ostensibly loses the election for student-body president due to the red herring of belief inThe Great Pumpkin. In fact, Linus just stinks and all the students know it. Charlie Brown, protagonist of the story, is the only pawn who unconditionally understands Pig-Pen for who he is - puppet master of their quaint little Matrix. Browns candidacy is summarily crushed by Linus, the Francis Underwood of the Peanuts Universe. There. I said it. And now you too understand the true existential dystopian angst that is Peanuts. Happy Halloween.
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 05:53:00 +0000
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