I think people often confuse having their pride hurt and their feelings hurt when a relationship ends over someone else. The two feel so similar sometimes, its hard to distinguish between them when youre hurting. But, knowing the difference can save you a lot of time and suffering. If someone leaves you, and you are hurt because all you can think about is they traded down, or they chose someone less attractive or someone less intelligent or someone with less to offer them, etc. That would be your pride hurting you. If they leave you, and you are hurt because all you can think about is losing your best friend, or the person who makes you smile, or the most incredible person youve ever known, or your happiness, etc. That would be your heart hurting. There is also another way to tell the difference. If you feel anger from the beginning and thats the dominate emotion, its most likely your pride and not your heart hurting. But, if you truly believe all those things you think, then why should your pride be hurt? Are you worried about what everyone else thinks? Dont. Because, aside from it not being anyone elses business, if you and the people who know you think youre an awesome person, then they are thinking the same thing as you. Its their loss. So, dont waste your time, anger, and sleep over someone who isnt worth it. There is someone out there who will know your worth and adore you. If your feelings are hurt, its a whole other story. You will need your mourning period, because you genuinely loved them. Youll need someone to talk to, so never alienate yourself from the good people you had before them. That shouldnt happen, but it does..and, that should be a warning sign. Lightly said, on the plus side, a broken heart can be a great way to lose weight. And, if you exercise to keep your mind off the pain, youll be looking your best when you are ready to get back out there. And, youll look fabulous when you run into the ex. That helps more than you can imagine in healing the wound. Dont feel bad about eating some ice cream or chocolate, but dont use it to fill the void. It doesnt work and youll just get more depressed, when you see where it shows up on your body. But, most of all, love yourself through it all. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else, before and after any relationship. Im not talking about being a vain ass. Im just saying, you need to know your own value and love yourself as a person. Because, a broken heart will have you questioning yourself and feeling like youll never love again, but you will. It will be a different love, but it will happen. No two people are the same, so you cant expect the same love from each one. Dont rush back out there, before you allow yourself to heal. But, dont get caught up in your grief either. If you mistake hurt pride for hurt feelings, youre going to suffer through all that pain unnecessarily. So, really think about what is hurting you when a relationship ends. Because, you can truly cut all that suffering short if you realize that it isnt your heart thats broken. Either way, never let anything anyone else does to hurt you affect how you feel about yourself. This is what Ive learned in the last few years about relationships.
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 02:02:53 +0000
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