I think we all have the same feelings at different times in our lives. But because the stories look different, we dont think others will understand. Or we get caught in that trap of ranking one anothers problems as more or less significant or easier or harder than someone elses. This is a dangerous path I think. It can make us unkind towards people and their struggles. And it can minimize the pain that someone experiences. Fear is fear. Shame is shame. Disappointment is disappointment. Betrayal is betrayal. Who have you not been there for because you see a picture of someones life and think They could have it worse. They need to get over it. Their problems arent as big as mine or someone elses. Look at everything they have. and on and on. Just something I thought about today as I had a friend message about something shes going through. She kept qualifying it and saying but I know that this probably seems like nothing to some people and I should just get over it. I told her about a time I watched a woman who had been through unspeakable abuse and torture go through a healing process. And when many of us in the room disconnected because we felt couldnt relate to this horrific story, the teacher had us close our eyes and all recall a time we had felt the feeling of shame. We could all do that. And she said, Dont compare stories. Realize that you have all felt this same feeling that she had. It just looked different in her life. Now can you understand and be here for her a little better? Such an AHA moment in my life. In fact it changed the way I looked at everyone and what they go through. Dont compare. Be there for someone that needs you to understand today. Despite what we think sometimes as we go through our days, we really are all more alike than we are different.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 14:32:32 +0000