I took that deep breath, I closed my mouth and looking into your eyes, into your soul and spoke to you with a million silent words. I at the bottom of my soul I hoped, but reality made me doubt, doubt that you would even hear one single syllable of my soliloquy. I looked to you and shouted to the rafters my every grief, hope and despair. I told of my deepest, darkest wishes and haunting desires for life as a whole. I watched your eyes glisten with tears as you stood and came even closer, your eyes bored into my heart and soul reading all there was in it. As if, my heart and soul were a simple volume of the encyclopedia, the meandering expression on your face emotions, an ineffable beauty. I imagined your heart reading the Cliff Notes of all of my life and connecting. You saw when the world was, but a tumultuous sea of grief I learned how to swim, I fought against every pull of the waves, resisted pulling tentacles of the things below the surface. Your adoring eyes saw how I would retreat to that brightest warm and sunny spot in my memory. I would go to a day on the beach, the sun on my face and the whipping wind in my hair, the salty surf lapping at my feet and ankles, laughter in the distance. Your wry smile peeled across your face, then a flash of anger, righteous indignation, your sweet face then crumpled in sadness, that grew deeper and deeper. Sweet tears welling in your sea foam eyes, your breathing a shuddering huff. You rolled your eyes closed and breathed in deep, a deep, shuddering breath. Your tongue sneaking out to wet your pressed lips as a sad smile pulled your across them. I saw the same in your eyes, long roads trekked, mountains climbed and lonely alleyways. I saw the same longing and heartbreak, I saw the wolves at your back and that storm overhead. I read your broken hearts, busted dreams, and sweetly glued together hopes that were leftover, our hearts recognized each other, where the broken places in each of our souls could mend… together. You reach your hand out, my heart shakes as you slowly take my hand in yours, warmth running through me like a flood. I smile wide, joy evident in every cell of my being, I felt it shining out of me like an incandescent light. The joy I felt was ineffable, if I had a million years learning and understanding, every language in the universe I doubt I could ever form that single sentence, that aptly described exact feeling in my heart and soul and the warming in my bones I felt. It was amazing to feel that primal comfort of being touched, a simple skin-to-skin contact. A primordial sense that carried in it a deep soul rendering compassionate connection, knowing that someone, anyone else, someone close, a passing acquaintance, a random stranger, who out of all the souls in all the worlds in all the universes reached out their hand to caress me. There is a bone deep reassurance, an encouragement in a momentary refuge from the storms of life, an instant and encompassing asylum from the pain of that petty pace from day to day. In that one sweet moment a bond created, my armour replenished, I was free. It was a promise even for just ticking seconds of shelter, a single moment of mutual safeguarding a treatise of sanctuary and salvation we take in one another’s soul. That came delicately with the brush of one human hand on mine.
Posted on: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 08:33:51 +0000
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