I try not to allow myself to feel a way when I see, hear or witness anything or anyone that reminds me of the once harsh past. I am in a far better place, with a far better life, accomplishing far better goals. I am back to great and I am radiant. Yet, truthfully, a lot still hurts within me when I am privy to be of witness to certain things or people, especially when the situation reflects a specific time period where the mistrust, the lies, and a fake marriage and friendships had existed. When I see people, a picture of them, their name somewhere, or get in a situation that hashes up memories not so sweet, it does effect me. I can not lie or hide this, nor do I want or need to. I will not hold things inside and let feelings fester and eat me alive ever again. I am an imperfect human being and I feel with a passionate fault. Not as much as it had hurt before, but my heart still drops and I feel tears coming on and depending on the persons face I see, I still feel an itch of anger. Not the anger I had once felt, that if I knew that I saw them in an opportune moment, I might be sitting in prison today. I forgave, but forgiveness is a process that is part of healing, it takes time, and I will get there 100%. I am just blessed that the idea of drowning the pain with my liquid lover isnt an option in my life any longer. For this, I am able to think completely straight and logically, with clear and sound judgment. I tell myself, You are a far better person for all of that. You have come a long way and life will give to those people what they have given to life. Let go and let God! Gyrl, you are ever so blessed to be the Woman you are today, because of what happened yesterday. Chin up, you are better then that and as a person, far better then them!
Posted on: Tue, 11 Nov 2014 21:12:32 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015