I understand why people begin to isolate during illness... I understand why people shut off the outside world of thoughts and opinions... Sometimes it is not out of depression as it appears but sheer survival! I never imagined how much people feel the need to tell you why they feel you are ill. They hurt, they are deafening , they silence hope. We have to be careful to judge or begin to presume illness. There is sickness in this world... There are people who die everyday.. Who live a life without every being physical healed, who struggle every day to just survive but when you look at this thru outside goggles without love or compassion you miss the beauty of this journey... You see when you look at me you feel sad for me.. Well dont! Rejoice with me that I have been given a gift that has changed my life.. When you look at me you see pain... Well dont.. Every time there is pain there is growth!! The pain gives me depth that could not be obtained without it...when you look at me you see doubt .. You see unanswered prayers.. Well dont!! My prayers are answered everyday!! To walk out illness with grace and strength of God! I was told being sick without healing does not bring glory to My Heavenly Father... What?? You could not be more wrong!!! Yes there are miracles where cancer is cured or illness disappears but there is also miracles of strength and perseverance that happen everyday among a community who their prayers are answered just not the way you feel they should be! My illness points upward because I could not sustain, continue, deal with this everyday! I see so much light ... Yes there is much sadness in illness but there is also great joy!!! When Alexis was little and went thru her heart ablations and we would be in the hospital with sick children my faith waivered.. I wondered where wAs the God I believed in..... Then HE answered and said look at the beauty! The arms of the loving mother holding their child.. Not taking for granted like so many parents do that there may not be another day.. Or the child who understands the true meaning of life so young while someone in their 60s still selfishly walk thru this life consumed with pride and lack of compassion to help others. My daughter in her sickness sewed 80 pillows for the sick children in that hospital.. Even in her own heartache at 5 she wanted to make their journey less scary and painful!!! I learned so much from her thru that ... It helps me walk out what I am now!! Try to find the beauty in the sadness, in the pain, in the grief!! There is beauty!!! I may never have the miracle you think I should on this earth but I have them everyday and every hour!! Healing comes many ways and my heart is being healed in ways my body may never receive. I know its scary to let go of control.. when you realize you can not control life... Its okay to surrender. To say I will live this life with passion, joy, laughter, grace, compassion .... No matter my circumstances!! Choose to make someones journey less painful and scary not make it harder by analyzing how they choose to celebrate the miracles you are to blind to even see:)
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 11:52:50 +0000
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