I used to be one of those who kept making fun of marriage, quoting things like marriage is an expensive way for men to get their laundry done, or the 3 rings in marriage - engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering. The jokes are aplenty on that subject. Those who know me personally would also acknowledge that 90% of my past relationships were with non-Muslims, often ending up with the same dilemma i.e. religious differences. Sure, some did consider conversion, but with terms & conditions that were not in alignment to my expectations. Generally speaking, it is not right for a non-Muslim to convert to Islam simply for the sake of marriage. One should convert because he/she truly believes in Islam, or maybe, at the very least, have the genuine intention to one day embrace it wholly. I dont know, Im not a religious scholar so perhaps someone who is can elaborate on this further. But when I was much younger, I couldnt give a hoot about this concept, maybe because I myself wasnt exactly an exemplary Muslim back then, what with all my friends being Chinese. But years do catch on, and you start considering early if your spouse would feel cheated should you one day decide to turn over a new leaf and lead a more pious lifestyle. You would no longer be the outgoing, care-free person she agreed to marry. Will it be fair for her? Will it be fair for you if she decides to leave you? Mak one day said to me you can gallivant all you like, but something tells me one day youll be marrying a Malay. Its not my all-out wish, but just an honest premonition. I was like, Schyeah right... if my circle of friends is anything to go by, that would be near impossible. She was right on the money though, but Allah SWT also gave added bonuses: Mak said Malay. I thought Chinese. So He presented me with a hybrid - a Malay that looked like Chinese *Yipeee!*. That and the fact that He helped us gel so well together, it all fell into place perfectly, so much so that I married Beanie after knowing her for less than 9 months. And we realised how funny that was when we celebrated the anniversary of our very first date, we celebrated it as husband and wife. You will go through post-nikah bumps and hurdles here and there. You will have trouble managing expectations that you forgot to define. But with belief, patience and solat (dont underestimate the curing ability of leading your wife in prayer, and the kiss on the hand & forehead right after), the beauty of marriage becomes more apparent with every passing day. Another note for all you boys and girls out there. Theres no such thing as the perfect man, or the perfect woman. Everyone has imperfections. But the moment you see that person as being perfectly imperfect, you will both become Mr. & Mrs. Compromise. And that, is all you should look for. Unless you like hybrids. Then rilek dulu, tunggu lama skit :P
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 05:33:20 +0000
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