I vividly remember the first time I saw Robin Williams doing stand-up. I couldnt believe how outrageous he was. He had the courage to bust taboos and I loved it. I loved the risks he took, I loved that he was raw and edgy. He was wild, intense and danced with dark humor. I couldnt get enough. He was charming as a television character, but I preferred the rated R Williams. He had the ability to make me laugh during some of my most darkest hours. I will always remember the beautiful release of laughter, watching him—a joyfulness that I most desperately needed. I loved him even more in The World According to Garp Next, Good Morning Viet Nam At last there was a voice I could relate to. He had an amazing ability to identify bullshit policies of life and make us laugh about it. His passing this week has affected me deeply. I did not know that he suffered from depression. We share this illness and we are now kindred souls. I feel badly that the world has let Williams down. Was there not one person to render him aid? Can depression really be this deadly? I dont mean to be so dark, its just that if he succumbed to depression—can there be hope for the rest of us? If fame, fortune and talent isnt enough to keep the darkness at bay, what is left? There will never be a simple solution to treatment. We must be steadfast and brave. We must ask for help, not just for ourselves, but for those that love us. Depression is an evil, evil beast. I finally stopped asking why? a long time ago. For me, depression just is There are good days and bad days—for me as if late, I have had mostly good days and for this I am very grateful. It is not comfortable to talk about. I worry that my honesty may cause me to suffer some losses, whether it be friendships or other things that pertain to life. I just feel compelled to raise awareness for Williams. Whatever pushed him to that fateful decision is something we must try and understand. If we can find compassion and understanding we just might be able to save another soul—and that saved soul will have gained the enlightenment to hopefully save another. I apologize if it seems like I have been discussing Williams too much. I am just so sick and tired or depression and how it has affected my life. My heart aches for my grandmother and for my Uncle Brad. When they were suffering, I did not understand. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and love them in the flesh—love them with the compassion and understanding that I have now. I look at my beautiful and happy children. I have been advised that depression is genetic. I silently worry and look for signs that they might be suffering, but so far so good. In the face of it all, I must remain strong. Even though I have been cursed with depression, I have been blessed with a fighting spirit. I will fight this for myself, but more importantly, I will fight this for others who are suffering. I will use my voice in the hopes that it will ease the suffering of others. I will be brave. I admit that I am scared. I admit that I have lost friendships because of how this blasted disease has ruled my emotions at times. I am so grateful for those of you that have remained by my side. I love you so much. Thank you for believing in me. My new journey is to raise awareness and help those discover their treatment options. My treatment is using my voice. I will no longer remain silent. Take a moment to ask someone, even a complete stranger, ask them #RUOK? You just might save a life. #RIP #RobinWilliams #BradHacker #TriniGran youtu.be/FH7crqRvhhc
Posted on: Sun, 17 Aug 2014 06:09:26 +0000