I wanna take this time to say Happy Birthday to someone very special in my life, someone that I only met once......and so brief it was......My Baby Sister Justina Marie.....it was 26 yrs ago on this day that I remember our Father walkin up to me to tell me that I had a baby sister.....I was only 7 yrs old......but at that time I remember feelin like the biggest kid in the world.....I remember our Father tellin me how important it was to be a big brother to a younger sister.....how it was different then bein a big brother to our brother Jonboi.....at the time Jonboi was too young to undastand but I remember feelin excited to go home and tell him that our little sister had arrived, and how important it was that we protect her, and help our mother take care of her......I always took everything our Father said very seriously, I always felt that I had to make him proud.....our Father was always a good person and he always knew how to treat people, but most importantly he always put Family first, especially his sister Aunt Marie who you were named after.....RiP.....I remember how he would protect her, council her, keep her safe, give his time and attention to her when needed, but most of all, I remember seein the love and laughter that they would share, and I remember sayin to myself, im gonna have that same relationship with my sister.......I ran around the house for days tellin everyone how I couldnt wait to see my little sister....when the day finally came to pick u up from the hospital I remember waitin in the lobby for hours while Dad went to check on you and Mom......I didnt think anything of it, I jus kept waiting patiently till I saw our parents come out with you in their arms.....but they never did.....unfortunately u never left the hospital......instead Dad came out and sat me down and explained to me what was going on......in so many words he explained that you were very sick, and the doctors didnt think youd be able to come home with us.....instead they thought itd be best if we said goodbye....and still till this day I remember tellin Dad, but how can I say goodbye, I didnt even say hello yet, she doesnt even know who I am.......at that moment Dad started to cry, he was finding it hard to speak, he took a breath, looked me in the eye and said, your rite Joseph, your gonna meet your little sister, shes gonna know who her big brother is.....no matter what......we waited a little longer for the hospital to quiet down, and he snuck me in to see you......even tho I couldnt get close enough to touch u, I was close enough to see you.....and you were close enough to see me.....I looked at you, I spoke to you, and I told you that I loved you......you were sleeping......and I remember wanting you to open your eyes......but Dad said we had to go before someone seen us, so I put my hands up on the glass and said goodbye, and before I could walk away, you opened your eyes and looked rite at me.......and it was at that moment that I realized you knew exactly who I was......I went home feelin sad, I felt like I lost you before I even had a chance to have you in my life......I was very young, but I was very aware......I didnt grow up like the other kids......I grew up way too fast, and I seen and heard things that children should never see or hear.....but I have no regrets......till this day im forever grateful that I got to look you in the eyes and if only for a short moment, felt the love and connection we had, the connection I know wed still have till this day if you were alive......funny thing is, you never left, cuz ur alive in me, you walk beside me every day, and you sit on my shoulder and I take you with me everywhere I go........all my life ive treated women with love and respect.......ive treated them the same way id want a man to treat you, or our mother........some women in my life would say im full of it, but they never really knew me......and I know that your still here and if you could speak to me youd tell me I did the best I could and showed as much love and respect as I was able to show, and maybe youd say you were proud of me, or maybe youd tell me to try harder........but I know one thing, youd always be proud to have me as a big brother.......as my life moves forward I will always keep you with me, through the good times and the bad......I will always speak to you in my spare time when the rest of the world is sleeping, and I will always celebrate your life......you can be sure of this as much as you can be sure that Ill See You Again.......I Love You Sis......Happy Birthday!!!!!!!..... Justina Marie Bilella, 7-7-88/7-16-88........
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 07:23:11 +0000
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