I want to give a public praise to my God and Savior. This last week has been almost nightmarish. Ive been sick, emotionally distraught, hammered by one thing after the other, had my electric shut off, lost my insurance, recd certified mail from the IRS, experienced heartbreak, old grief, feelings of failure and inadequacy, ALL DESPITE THE ABUNDANCE OF BLESSINGS IN MY LIFE. I felt upside down and utterly defeated. I wept for hours in my car, you know, that moment where your face is planked against the window (while its raining outside) and you slowly and dramatically let it slide down, snot and all...while sobbing and feeling like all your limbs are noodles. or....is that just me? Anyway, I FOUGHT HARD this week. I could not understand how I could feel like this in the midst of a healthy family, a great (answer to prayer) job, steady progress in the non profit, being surrounded by loving friends and family, encouraged, provided for (my electric was restored), people walking with me EVERY SINGLE STEP of the way, lost 7 pounds, house is clean and organized, etc etc. But there I was sobbing for a day and a half, four hours in my car pleading with the Lord to remove my heartache and loneliness and to equip me to achieve great things, in between pleading to take my tired butt home to Jesus and Timmy. Suddenly, I realized, though I often pray for others, my personal prayers, my intimate time with Him has been scarce. I opened the Bible and realized, its been a while since Ive dived in, outside of church or occasional quoting. As I earnestly and prayed and read, a wave of warm peace LITERALLY washed over me from head to toe and I was instantly restored. Immediately I knew that I was fighting a war way beyond finances and flu. I realized that I better ship shape my armour. Pray, get in the word and STAY in it. Cant survive on cruise control. Later in the night, it hit me hard again, the panic, fear, grief, heartache and it was all I could do to stay upright. I was nauseated, dizzy and uncontrollably sobbing. But through that I could clearly see the other side and the hope. I KNEW what was happening and I met it with perseverance. I didnt lay there and suffer, I got up and I prayed and I fought that battle until it was done. I finally slept at 7 am, and was up by 9. Incredibly, today was one of the most productive days Ive had in months. Things that have been in limbo, have been on pause, etc, just came together. Today, thought the night was a hard fought battle, I walked in HUGE VICTORY. Measurable outcomes. Not just in the small things, in the BIG things. and yesterday, I was invited to have cake with Shirley Elligsen, because in the midst of my sobbing, God said, go see Ralph and I did, tears and all. Last time I was there, he told me never to come back. Ralph owns the property that I believe God would have me build the non profit center on. But yesterday I went in obedience....I sat with their family and celebrated. There was no real talk of the property, because that wasnt why I was there. Its no longer about that, but about how precious these two are to the Lord. I learned some wonderful things about this old couple. Including that Shirleys favorite cake is banana cake. I dont know if they will let me come back, but Im thinking if the Lord says go, I will and Ill take banana cake. Ill just keep going until Jesus touches their hearts. After I left, I bet their family said who WAS that girl? and they probably said I dont know but she KEEPS coming back!! haha. Finally, mama Julie Borchers Gholston and I prayed for the angels to protect our children today and I didnt know it at the time but my sweet girl almost lost control of her car and flipped. Yet she was home, safe and unharmed. I am praising God for so many things today. People, Im not saying everything is the devil or spiritual attack, bad days happen, but SOMETIMES, it IS warfare, be vigilent, be persistent, FIGHT that fight and BELIEVE that WE SERVE A MIGHTY GOD!!!!! DREAM BIG DREAMS and.... #NEVERSURRENDERYOURHOPE
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 02:36:36 +0000
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