I want to move people. I want to encourage people. Those have been the times I have felt most successful - and more importantly, happy. When I can make others smile and feel confident enough to go find and pursue their OWN dreams, is what this is all about. Daring to dream. Daring to not be realistic, to be UNrealisitc. Super mushy, but its true. I never wanted this for the fame. Ive already seen it here and its not cool, or fun, or worth seeking. Its defeating, soul-breaking, moral-sucking and a dead end full of desperation. To know me is to love me, like Ive loved each and every one of you who has come in and out and back into my life again. I am blown away by the support and encouragement, and even in my moments of fear and my own desperation, I know Gods got this. And I have this amazing outlet of Facebook to still get glimpses of my warm HOME (mentally and physically) from all over the world, at just the click of a button. I cant express to you how much you all mean to me. Please dont take offense if I havent personally reached out thanked you just yet. I promise I will. Its super overwhelming and I think each Thank you so much doesnt even remotely encompass my gratitude and thankfulness and pressure in my throat and heart that I have for you guys and I tear up that are helping me with this project. I have always wanted this to be about the music and not my pity party personal story I have going on behind these eyes, but its the reality of this industry, and this worldly life we have been inhabiting. We need to stand up for one another, not because were afraid of what will come of it, or what happens next, but for what we know is right and good and true. Im not saying I am that, but Im saying in any outlet of anything we share, or any smile we toss, or any seemingly empty Hi, how are you? Good and you? as we walk by the streets and not even wait for the others response. How REALLY are you? That is my journey I hope you join me on. Especially in this New Year, with resolutions weve probably already broken in day 3. How REALLY am I!? I get people asking me time to time, just because I live in Los Angeles now, how being FAMOUS is? And its sad. Not that I havent made it yet. But the lengths at what people are willing to go to pursue their dreams. And unfortunately I am a victim of what getting caught up in that scene is. I even told a bit of my story on Facebook and took it down twenty minutes later. Why? Because I dont want people to see how Ive failed? Or how Ive made mistakes? Or how for one quick moment, I, Lauren Chase, wasnt being POSITIVE about something? Or because I was complaining? I cry everyday. All the time. Its releasing. Just as music is, for all of us I believe. And thats why these songs permeate through my pores and is really my calling. Im not really good at anything else, haha. No, but really, because sometimes (most of the time) I dont have the right way to say it otherwise. I stutter and am dyslexic, and super ADHD. I am emotional and say things I dont mean and lash out. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for years and it seems paralyzing sometimes to talk to the people I love about whats REALLY going on because its overwhelming to the ears that have just wanted to lend a quick hello. I was assaulted. And I cant even press charges because I have no proof. Its humiliating. Its disgusting. Even reliving it to tell you how it happened is too scary. And since this person has a name for themselves by association, I was afraid of popping up in tabloids for the wrong reasons, and then maybe years later getting recognized for my music, making it seem like the bad situation I was in, was a plan by myself to create this name for myself or to gain money. So I didnt report it for a while. And then while at Planned Parenthood, who I am a huge supporter of, I saw police there, with a young girl crying as they were collecting her police report for her assault. And then I realized it wasnt about what happened to me anymore. That no matter how many times I showered and wouldnt talk about it wouldnt make it go away. No matter how upset I was at myself for freezing and not screaming until the end made me feel the worst. How I always watched movies and thought if that happened to me I would be so loud and scream and kick and punch and get my dogs on them. But now it was about what could happen to girls who get in this persons path to come. And I was more sad at the fact he was no nonchalant and surprised that I was even saying, no. And I cried for the girls and guys who truly believed that they had to say yes to create any type of future for themselves. I was scared because this person knew and knows where I live. And scared to face him in a court room one day. And I probably will. But God will be with me if and when that time comes. But I know that while I continue to pursue my music and acting career I will be working with only people I know VERY well and with people who arent just trying to do favors for me, but because I have the money to do so. And this producer Im going to be working with has gone to church with me, met my mother, put his hands on my mom and prayed with me for her. Ran to my house in the middle of our phone call to sit in my living room and cry with me when I couldnt even muster up the words to tell him what happened that night - the first person I told. Who promised me that if anyone wanted to work with me they would have to go through him since hes been around the block already, and believes in me and my mom and our story. It would take me forever to learn how to do every aspect of the music business and recording myself, as I recently was accepted into Santa Monica College and applied for The Los Angeles School of Songwriting thinking that was the answer, but then that would take tons of money and a separate lifetime to pursue and learn. On top of that, my parents have been single handedly supporting me. I foolishly and selfishly didnt save any money before moving to California from Florida. My jobs dont help me pay my rent, or utilities, or the crazy fact that I have three dogs. Get rid of the dogs, yeah I know, but theyre registered emotional support animals, and they are just that for me, and I will never abandon them. Theyre all I have sometimes. So now as I dont want you to feel bad for me, I want you to feel supported and so loved with me. By our Heavenly Father. and knowing that I will never give up, you too, should never give up. Never fall down for the people that think they run these towns, wherever they may be for you. Because were taking over. Together. I want you guys to be a a huge part of my album. The reason Im doing it. Were going forward and healing together, from all worldly wounds. I have never once said my wounds are bigger than yours, but I am willing to be honest enough to tell you what I have personally been going through and we can go through this process and heal all of our wounds together, whatever they may be. We can be accountability partners, across the web! The wonderfully talented Chris Parsons is going to be in the studio with us, filming us every step of the way and we are going to create a youtube channel of our process, good and bad, and do a Vlog to keep YOU guys up to date on the writing and recording process and all that follows afterwards. Dont think youre going to sit by and watch because you know Im going to call out for some audience participation haha. I actually got word that we will have the studio for two months and might actually do the entire LP after the EP (full album) in between his sessions with his other artists, which will help me keep my other jobs to try to make my other daily payments, and get out of debt hopefully. I want you each to know how much this means to me, and isnt just important for me, but I know when this thing blows up, because it will, I wont even hesitate to give it back where it is deserved. I am so excited to have you all on my album with me. I am so honored to have you all in my life. We have until Monday. I KNOW we can do this. I believe in you, and your most wildishly outlandish dreams. (Please forgive my excited and passionate run-on sentences) Oops. :D Gofundme/LaurenChase30DayEP
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 04:55:13 +0000
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