I want to share a bit more about the child we buried 15 years ago today, and how the Lord helped me through that difficult time. We got home from the hospital late on a Saturday night, and my husband told me the next morning that I should just stay in bed and rest. But I KNEW I needed to be at church that morning - yes, God was providing me with a way of escape from the temptation of doubting and blaming God! Our church family surrounded us with such love and comfort - I remember it like it was yesterday - and then our family buried that little body privately after our afternoon services. I have never gone back to visit that grave --- for I KNOW HE IS IN HEAVEN and one day I will see him again!! But --- how my heart grieved - there were many days and weeks of weeping during the long nights, after everyone else was in bed. Some well-meaning Christian friends told me I needed to get right with God - that God had taken this child from me as a judgment. (Hmmm, remind you of anyone in the Old Testament - Job, maybe?) I searched my heart and home and tried to understand why, but there was no answer forthcoming. A niece and nephew joined our family at the time our baby would also have been due, and I cried out to God to help me rejoice with those who were rejoicing. I kept thinking of my baby in Heaven - was he safe in the arms of Jesus? Did Jesus really have arms full of babies? Did he miss his mother? Who was taking care of him in my absence? Then, a Christian man whom I had never met before asked us how many children we had. My husband replied, Six here, and a baby in Heaven. The man replied with a smile on his face - Oh, hes not a baby anymore!! He is the perfect age, just like Jesus - a grown man. Hes up there waiting for you to get there, and when you get to Heaven someday, hes going to welcome you with arms open wide. He might say something like, Mom! Dad! Youre finally Home - Ive been waiting for you!!. I admit, he explained it all better than that, but God really used that to comfort my heart, and I never had any of those thoughts again. I had to forgive myself, for I was sure I had caused his death, and I had to stop asking God Why?. I was already seeing what He was doing, in such a mighty way, in my life. Your life changes forever when you have a part of you in Heaven, before you get there. I know many of my friends have children who have gone on to Glory ahead of you, and we have a grandchild waiting for us there, too --- so thankful for the BLESSED HOPE we have in Jesus!! He is coming again - comfort one another with these words!!! Forgetting those things which are behind, I press toward the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:14) PRESS ON!!
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 05:10:25 +0000
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