I want to start out by saying how much I appreciate this community and the way you help to keep Kaylas memory alive and fresh. That being said I feel I need to let you all know what recently happened before you hear bits and pieces. I have struggled without Kayla in my life more than anyone can possibly know. I recently started to see a therapist but probably too little too late. I take 5 different meds a day just to be normal and handle my anxiety and anger. (I hate that I have to do this) As you can imagine home alone is not a fun place for me so often I go out if for no other reason to just see people having a good time and get away from the empty feeling at the house. Thursday night this caught up with me when I was arrested and spent the night in jail for a DUI. I am embarrassed, sickened, scared, sorry and most of all grateful I did not hurt anyone else. Maybe I have finally hit the bottom. I don’t know. I do know that it upsets me that the sob that murdered my daughter is also slowly killing me also. It upsets me that you support Kayla’s memory through a community I started and this is what I am doing instead of positive things in her memory. I don’t know what’s next for me. People say get a cab or find a friend to drive. I don’t think that’s the answer anymore. If I don’t make drastic changes soon I won’t be here for her birthday in March or the day they deny his appeal. I have been physically sick and crying for the days. I never thought things could get worse but they can. I wanted you all to know this because you have there for me when Kayla was taken from me and I hope you will continue to support me as I start turning my life around and get back to making a positive impact in keeping her memory alive.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 19:23:16 +0000
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