I want to take moment to express with you some of my feelings. Mainly to those of you that I see on a daily basis, family, friends, clients, or someone I just happen to run into somewhere. I know you dont know what to say or how to act and thats ok. I know alot of you wonder and have even asked how Im REALLY doing so Im just going to share with you how I REALLY feel. Talk about Paisley. Please. Ask me questions. Ask to see pictures or videos. I know alot of you are afraid to but please dont be. Im okay. Really, I am. I love talking about Paisley and sharing memories of her and our experience with her. As sad as it may be that shes not here, talking about her puts a smile on my face. Talking about her long skinny legs makes me laugh. She was the greatest gift I could have ever received. Why wouldnt I want to talk about that? Sure, I get sad sometimes because shes not here but I was even more sad before she passed because it was SO sad seeing her go through what she did. I was so sad knowing this precious little baby was sick. I was so sad when she cried and got so upset that she would turn red and wouldnt catch her breath and I not knowing why. I was so sad seeing her with a feeding tube and not getting to experience true breast feeding. I was so sad that she had acid reflux so bad that we had to suction it out of of her mouth. I was so sad seeing her little head bob because her poor heart was working so hard. I was so sad that we spent most of time with her worrying about her more than enjoying her. But now that she is cured in heaven and in the arms of the Lord, I dont have to worry myself sick anymore. I dont have to see her go through the hospital experience again. I dont have see her cry and think shes in pain because she is no longer in pain. Now I just get to hold onto the GOOD moments we had with her. The little smirks she would make. She face and grunt she made during a poop lol that would make me laugh every time. I get to hold on to all the times she fell asleep on me and her daddy. Watching my family fall in love with her and all of those memories make me smile and I would love to share those memories with you. She was and still is a true blessing from God.
Posted on: Thu, 16 Oct 2014 00:28:34 +0000
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