I want to talk about my husband Ronald Sanders feelings!! My husband is wide a wake, fully alert, very a where of where he is and how he got here!! Very a where of who loves him a has respected all HIS wishes and who has not!! And I feel so sad to have to say Has NOT!! This un nessasary pain should of never happen.Ive held my tongue for as long as I could stand it, and maybe if my husband was not trying to die every 15 minutes than maybe I could of held it for another 20 years!! WHY?? Do people take offence to peoples wishes?? Wouldnt they want there wishes respected??? My husband woke up from a 25 DAY SLEEP!! Not knowing !!Where am I?? Why??? How???? What??? Happen to me??? I CAN NOT SPEAK!! I can only move my lips and NO SOUND comes out!! I CAN NOT MOVE MY HANDS ARMS FEET or LEGS!! I CAN NOT WALK!! WHY?/ HOW??/ WHAT??? I CAN NOT BREATH!! I CAN NOT LEAVE THIS ICU until Im OFF the VENT!! Ive been Critical and only stable on and off for 51 days!! God please help him!! He is so depressed!! He is so sad!! He trays so hard with all his might during his PT and OT and when he only moves a tiny bit you can see the hurt in his face!! He trys so hard to breath without the vent and when his blood gases go bad and he has to go on the vent again the look on his face is total lose!! He said I lay here peeing in a bag and shitting all over myself. He said I am trying to train my stomach to eat again Thur my fed tube and all I do is puke!! If I was not in the room yesterday he would of drown!! He can not be left alone.he is help less he cant yell for help but he will shake is head SCREAMING HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME! With no sound coming out!! With a look of terror in his face!! And tears pouring out of his eyes!! He can not work a call bell! His hands do not fully work all the time! He has begged me not to leave him the nurse can not be with him every minute she has 2 other patients.he would be alone for 1 or 2 hours at a time!! What is he suppose to do if he needs something???? He said he does not want to spend the rest of his life in a hospital!! Having to be rolled around on a bed to be cleaned up every 2 hours!! He wants me to take him home!! I keep telling him I will just as soon as i can!! He keeps thinking I am going to leave him because he is no good to any body and some of his family has caused me so much stress!! I told him non of that matters to me I still see the wonderful man I married and non of the drunken BS matters to me either. I told him i love him with all my heart. And soul and nothing and no one will ever change that!! Im here for the hall!! Im bring
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 19:22:08 +0000
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