I wanted to give you all a excerpt from my debut novel. When Past & Present Collide. This is a teaser from Jacobs Pov. Enjoy, Sarah xxx Day Five Sometimes in life, hope is all we have. Jacob. We co-existed as individuals. No one was talking and Ella had crawled into a cubby hole that not even I could dig her out from. She had concealed herself away from the world. I don’t blame her. I’m trying to be strong for her but I am getting close to the last resort. I need to get out of this house before I blow up in front of her and I’m in sheer desperation for that not to happen. One of us needs to stay strong and I know it won’t be her. Ella broke the evening we were first told. At first she seemed to ignore what the police had said but I know now, in hindsight, she never accepted it. I was told by Frank that he had heard the scream rip from her chest from the other side of their building, when they had first been told and then she just locked down. But that night. The night I had left the window open was the worst night of my life. I could seriously kick myself. I just wasn’t thinking. I knew Sammy hated sleeping with his window open. But for some unknown reason I had stupidly gone around the house later that evening, opening some windows as the house was becoming too claustrophobic for me. I needed fresh air and I was comfy just sitting in his rocking chair reading him his favourite book. I never meant to open it. When Ella noticed and flipped out I think the light had switched on in her head and the realisation of what was going on around her finally hit home. Because straight after that she went on a shouting frenzy, followed by a cleaning rampage. Which in all honesty, I’ve never seen her do before. But by the time darkness came and desperation had finally hit, she wanted answers and she wouldn’t accept anything from anyone until the top man came in. Even then she wasn’t happy. Really, I don’t blame her. No one was happy; even Frank had offered all his money to pay for extra men, lights, helicopters and extra anything really. But we knew all the money in the world couldn’t help us in this situation. The house had become the main nerve centre for all the crew. A big tent had been drafted into the garden and was set up with all different things. To be honest I never took notice of what they were doing, all I knew was they had electric leads running all along the floor which were taped down anywhere possible, so no one would trip. Huge lights had been positioned around so they could see and generators were everywhere. The place looked like a circus but honestly, it was hell. I’ve started to feel helpless over the last few days. She has refused to eat, change clothes, brush her hair. Damn I know she won’t stop brushing her teeth but that’s mainly because she can’t stop retching. There’s no more sick to be had. Her stomach is empty. She is drinking water which is a good thing but I’m worried. I don’t know how much longer she can hold off before they place her in hospital. Her strength is non-existent and she is dehydrating to the extent of having hallucinations. They have drafted in her private doctor and they are constantly monitoring her situation. Really, I just think they are waiting until the news conference before they determine if they should hospitalise her. I’m dreading if they do because I know she will find whatever strength she has left to fight them and I’m worried she will crack if they take her away from here. Away from me and Sammy. I’m watching from afar, I’m desperate to touch her but I don’t know what to do in these circumstances. I’ve never done this in my life. And even when I do get close I feel her retracting from me. We’ve spent the last 6 months getting into a good place, and now I feel like we are back at the beginning. I want her to need me like I need her, but I don’t want to push only for her to retreat into her own mind and never let me back in. I know we are in this together but at this moment I feel so isolated and alone.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 19:55:23 +0000
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