I was an English major at UCSB. I was the guy that biked way too fast on the bike paths while others meandered along. I sat in lectures about Shakespeare and Chaucer, and soaked up the knowledge of the ages in cut-off jeans shorts and threadbare shoes. I spent a lot of time on the eighth floor of the library and discovered Charles Bukowski and Henry Miller. There were days when I fell asleep up there, wondering why these heroes were never mentioned by the faculty. I befriended homeless drunks in the park, and sat through an Ugly Kid Joe concert one afternoon. I was there only for the free food. I had the cheapest, biggest burritos from the no name place that wasn’t Freebirds. And I ate whole pizzas while standing outside Barsodi’s, waiting for the house reggae band to start. I learned to follow students dressed in catering clothes to events, because I knew that they would be serving food - and I was starving. I could go for days eating only day-old pastries. In all that time, my days were pleasant and sunny. I was a drum corps kid, thrust into academia, thinking I would be found out as a fraud and not an intellectual. I secretly admired the hippie that worked at the campus bike shop, and made a point to say hello to the groundskeepers pulling weeds. I went to high school right across the freeway, and still had friends that didn’t think much of the college boys that moved into our town and hung out at our beaches. But in no way did I ever fear for my life. I never thought that I would be shot while walking to the deli/mart for a corndog. Well I saw that one of our recent dead was an English major and an exceptional student. That struck me in a way I hadn’t expected, knowing we walked the same halls and shared that small part of college life. But I was given the chance to graduate and do the dumb things I did at night in Isla Vista. I don’t care about your politics. I don’t want to know where you stand on gun rights or mental health. I just saw that there is a 20 year old who is now dead, and I am now twice his age and fortunate, and oh so lucky, to be alive.
Posted on: Tue, 27 May 2014 02:44:36 +0000
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