I was asked today, why do I always want to talk about Philippines? Why do I always want to come home in spite of the tedious travel and the very expensive trip? Why cant I just not petition my parents for them to stay with me? The land of OPPORTUNITIES The land of PROMISE! The land of the FREE, the home of the BRAVE are what people thought about America. For those that have great ambitions and for those who dream of a fruitful life this is a teaser! Come to think of it, I never dreamed to be here. (I am thankful for being here, dont get me wrong) but never did I plan it. My landing here was merely fate. I have thought about finishing my course, passing the board exam, getting a job and living a simple life. I was taught that way. Live a simple life, how simple? I dont know. All I knew was I was content with my teaching job. There were challenging times but I was happy. I was happy being with the poor. I was happy doing chores at home and being of service to my family. Most of the things that happened to me was part of Gods plan. Never did I ever dream of coming to America. Not a single day did I think about it, this is probably the reason why I always CRAVE to go home. How I ended up here? I honestly dont know. I married my husband, not knowing too many things about him. I didnt know about his financial status. I didnt even think I will be able to come here even after we got married. Call me naive, but that is the truth. Everything happened in past pace. (It was like, I was teaching in Manila, the next day I was in Calbayog. I was single, then the next day I was married). There were so many questions that I couldnt answer. Funny, because knowing myself, I find answers for every questions. Today, after being asked those questions, I have come to realize that there are questions that are hard to find answer (not even Mr. Google can help) , and these are the LIFES MYSTERIES!!! Why I did not petition my parents? I dont know the real reason for that too. All I know is I care for them, and I am doing all my best to provide for them. I am capable of petitioning them, surely, that is not a problem. I texted my mama earlier, just so I can find answers to my questions. I told her to make sure, if she and papa are ready to come. Once I file the petition for them, theres is no turning back until they are fully processed. Her answer to me, she didnt know. My grandmother is too old. They couldnt leave my niece and my nephews, not to mention my sisters. Mama didnt tell me, but I felt the sadness in her messages, in as much as they wanted to be with me; they just couldnt. I know the answer now, they CLING to the memories of my younger brother. They cant let go and so I am. This explains why, I always want to go home!!!Healing is not that easy even though we have FORGIVEN!
Posted on: Tue, 26 Nov 2013 00:52:01 +0000
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