I was doing some reading on marriage (preparation for some counsel sessions) and I was intrigued by this: Some couples believe that the end of the in-love experience means they have only two options: resign themselves to a life of misery with their spouse, or jump ship and try again. Our generation has opted for the latter, whereas an earlier generation often chose the former. Research seems to indicate that there is a third and better alternative: we can recognize the in-love experience for what it was - a temporary emotional high - and now pursue real Love with our spouse. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction-the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. (The 5 Love Languages-Gary Chapman)
Posted on: Tue, 15 Apr 2014 16:44:48 +0000
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