I was driving in my car a for a little over 4 hours altogether today....by myself....so I had lots of time for.....thinking.....being thankful.....and praying. I couldnt stop thinking about all the things I have to be thankful for in my life....Im thankful for my 3 beautiful, energetic....but healthy boys......Im thankful to still have my dad here with me.....Im thankful that I got to be with my mom every day for the last 3 weeks of her life.....Im thankful for my amazing sister.....and brothers too đ.....Im thankful to have an amazing husband......my first marriage didnt work out, but Im still thankful that we are still able to be a Team when it comes to parenting.....im thankful for my job.....Im thankful for my friends.....I could go on and on..... My thoughts kept turning to those around me that may not have these things....my heart is just so broken right now for many people that I care about.....and all I want to do is take away their pain and sadness and heal what is wrong....at times like this, I do something that I know I shouldnt....I start to question the why.....why does He let this happen..... Ive always said that I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to be with my mom her final weeks.....to take care of her like she always took care of me.....it was my final gift to her. Little did I know though....that she was also giving her final gift to me... When my mom was given the news that she had liver cancer and was told she only had 2-3 weeks to live.....she didnt cry.....she didnt complain.....she didnt say it wasnt fair.....she just accepted it. I remember so well a conversation I had with her after she found out.....she thanked me for having my boys and told me how much she has enjoyed them.....watching them play ball and just being boys.....she told me that she would have loved to have seen them grow up, but it wasnt Gods Plan......it wasnt Gods Plan.....oh how I have heard her say those words over and over in my mind. If you knew my mom, you would not that she wasnt always the most positive person.....but in those last two weeks.....she had not one negative word or emotion about what was happening to her......after all....it was Gods Plan. Her final Gift to me is those simple but powerful words Gods Plan......every time I start to question the why (which I really seem to be doing a lot lately) I think of my mom.....that final gift she gave me.....Gods Plan! I kept praying today for those around me that are struggling with Gods Plan......those that are feeling the this isnt fair....my heart is so broken for all of them.....I just want to take away their pain....but I cant....so I will just continue to pray! I ask all of you to take a moment and think about everything you have to be thankful for......and to pray for those that are struggling â¤
Posted on: Thu, 24 Apr 2014 23:00:07 +0000
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