I was filled with joy at just being alive and at the same time filled with sorrow because my husband was suffering from a recurrence of cancer --just three months after he had been declared cancer free. What was so astonishingly new to me was that the sorrow I was feeling did not diminish the joy. The reason I was able to enter into these two states of being simultaneously was that I was no longer choosing with my whole being that Hank live as I wanted him to be—healthy—after this whole ordeal was over. I had been given to understand that if I could hold all possible outcomes equally, well then… That was the clear message I received and the minute I could assent to that way of being with his illness, then I was free. I was no longer clinging to his living and being the way I wanted him to be. Really… in retrospect who was I to choose which would be the best outcome for him and for me? If our lives are in God’s hands, then we need to assent to his will, to go along with whatever happens. In this case that meant seeing what God’s intention for Hank’s life was. What I learned is that there is a way out of these stuck places where I am demanding my way and clinging to it above all other potential outcomes: it is to let go of my will, no longer choosing only the outcome I prefer. And then a new outcome can present itself, a third way evolves naturally out of the two opposing views—his living or his dying. _______ Catch my talks about the spiritual life on YouTube: “Gratitude” and “Be Peace Now” for example, at By the Waters Pat Adams youtube/results?search_query=by+the+waters+pat+adams
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 08:00:01 +0000
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