I was given an A by Stephen Sweeney and the letter C from Fiona Wiggan Being alphabetically AUTISTIC I combined them both and decided to write a novel. It’s a list, but it’s a list with reasons. I’ve put deep thought into it. Heres where Ive been these past three weeks. Things I like beginning with A (which coincidentally have an synonym thing that I like starting with C.) 1. Argentinian ants A single mega-colony of Argentinian ants (Linepithema humile) has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered. Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same inter-related colony, and will refuse to fight one another. Theres a lesson in that for mankind I think. [CREEP CRAWLIES] 2. Anorak - I dont own one I am one. Its a lifestyle choice. Seriously. Theres no gene. Its neither nature nor nurture. But give me blueprints to the Tardis, an X-wing fighter or the Enterprise D and Ill be gone for hours... its my ACHILLES heel. [CAGOULE] 3. Aliens - Given its size the universe just has to be teeming with life. And to the aliens we are the aliens. No point watching the skies, though. Given all that distance if they can travel they will probably do so sideways transdimensionally. A sort of galactic lift-over. [CARBON BASED CREATURES] 4. Atoms - Everything is made up of atoms but atoms are largely comprised of empty space. Lose the space and you could fit the entire human race into the volume of a sugar cube. Wow! Makes your head ACHE, eh? One lump or two? If disaster befell mankind returning us to the caves but you could pass one important scientific fact to these survivors scientists agreed that it should be this: “Everything is made up of atoms.” That alone would inspire new scientific enquiry and ignite the imagination. I think that’s cool but I worry: what if they don’t understand the meaning of the word “everything?” [CRITICAL MASS COLLIDER] 5. Astronomy - In the year of my childhood BC (Before Brian Cox) first there was Sir Patrick Moore and then Carl Sagan. They invented space. Sagan says everything is connected. Hes right: A shooting star is just a speck of dust skipping on the atmosphere and the atmosphere - another A – that inspired a Russ Abbot song. Connected. See? Moby taught me that We are all made of Stars. To create carbon (i.e. us) a star must explode. At the quantum level we are stardust. [CELESTIAL] 6. Autumn - its the season where everything seems to die. But its really summer falling into hibernation and she slips away with glorious colour. Thats how to make an exit. Lots of mesmerising colours followed by six months of darkness and freezing crap. Then suddenly... daffodils everywhere. Its the circle of damp. [CONKERS SEASON] 7. Art - Artistic creativity in all its forms: music, drama, writing. Art is the opposite of war. We do it because creativity is our default characteristic. We create to communicate and to express that we exist. We are all artists but we lose confidence as we grow old. We have to train before we can go to war. To be creative you just have to try. Thats me being profound, or as you more probably know it, ARSEHOLY. [CREATIVITY] 8. Anthology (II and III especially) - New music and rarities from the Beatles! That made 1995 hugely exciting. Until Let it Be... Naked this was the only way you could hear The Long and Winding Road without all that Phil Spector wall of unnecessary choral sounds. [APPLE CORPS] 9. Associates Party Fears Two - Its just possible that the greatest pop song ever may have been written in Dundee. A+ ASTOUNDING & (Ahem, AMPERSAND) AUCHTERMATIC! [CLASSIC CROONER] 10. Academia, Atlases, Automatic transmission, Anderson Gerry, Anderson Gillian, Anderson Judge. Aircraft, Arcadia and Atriums ... Too many As for my avaricious appetite. My no 10.... - ANDROID because you never know when you might one day need to hide the plans to an armoured space station with enough firepower to destroy an entire planet. There’s an app for that. AN APP. [COMPUTERY] AFTERTHOUGHT. Those Argentinian ants - do you think theyve colonised the Malvinas? I give the letter X to...
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 11:43:34 +0000
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