I was in my daughters room with her yesterday...as she locked the door behind us,i heard the latch snap..it was so loud,it sort of reminded me of the locks turning on the doors to the seclusion rooms i would get locked down in as a teenager whenever i did not comply with the rules...My heart starts to race as the blood rushes to my face,i became instantly overwhelmed and started to scream and rip at the door...My daughter was horrified as she had no idea what i was feeling and honestly,i wasnt quite sure why i became so crazy at that moment...Last night as it weighed heavy on my mind i had a hard time falling asleep...These small triggers and feelings are an extension of a bigger problem that i have been avoiding since the day they happened...1 out of every 3 women will experience being raped or domestic violence in their life time..I have encountered both..I thought i was strong and put it behind me,truth is..I never dealt with it...I ignored the bigger problem,focusing on all the smaller problems..Last night,I couldnt avoid anything as every single memory came in a flash....Im not sure how to deal with this issue...I have a new therapist who is a male and i had to meet him the other day,alone in my house..Im pretty sure thats the initial trigger for all of this...Im not sure how to tell my daughter why i reacted this way..I know it made her afraid,but i dont want to scare her more...What would you do?
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 19:44:24 +0000
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