I was in my second year of university, battling with a 5 year long depression that was so dark I was loosing all hope in my struggle. I was fighting my hardest but loosing. It was a day when I had found an unusual amount of energy and willed myself out of bed that I was drawn to the beach. I had no idea what had happened that morning but found a corner of the beach and watched hoards of people gather in an unnerving silence that comes with grief and shock. Later that day, alone in my room feeling so numb and worthless I logged into facebook. I was greeted by myriad of sadness plastered all over my facebook newsfeed. He was a boy named George, he had gone swimming at the beach that morning with friends and drowned. Slowly I got to know this boy through the thousands of mourners leaving him heart broken messages full of distress and grief. No one could believe he was gone. Each message describing his kindness, love, passion making others happy. I looked at the photos, into the bright eyes smiling back at me haunted by his complete joy. I spent the rest of the night crying in pain over the loss of this stranger, I cried for his family. I felt the pain of his friends. I felt guilt that he been taken and I had not. I felt like God had made a mistake taking someone with so much life and left me, Someone who had considered suicide on a number of occasions. Some one who had locked themselves from people away so she didn’t have to have friends that she would have to explain why she couldn’t get out of bed. I cried into the morning. I was so confused and grateful to be alive and able to feel the grief over the world loosing such a wonderful soul. Finally my deep depression was being transformed into meaningful sadness. It was this meaning that would slowly transform into meaningful passion. I gathered my strength and began to fight my battle and began to win. I vowed to prove to God and George that I deserved my place here on earth. I faced every demon. I travelled the world and discovered all that life had to offer. I learnt to smile and slowly could feel true happiness. I began to inspire those around me with my passion for life. I realised how much we can affect those around us just by showing that we want them to smile. I made it my goal to fill the lives of those I met with smiles so that they too could appreciate this amazing gift of life we have all been given. I am launching this project with the mission to help people find their smiles, even just for a moment, and hopefully inspire them to pass smiles on. I am still fighting against depression and anxiety every single day, but I have found purpose in my battle and I promise George that I will pass on the smile he gave me. As I didnt know George personally I felt uncomfortable posting his Facebook page or photos of him but this is a song one of his friends wrote about him. youtube/watch?v=uYiSnFYtJj8 Because in the words of George, ‘smiling saves lives.’ And I thank George, for even in his passing he smile saved my life. I want to honour his memory and carry on his message by doing everything I can to help other smile and remember how wonderful life can be if we connect with each other. So far it has been through little acts but I would love to be able to do more, more often but have funding issues due to my current family/work circumstances. I am in the process of creating a space for anyone to post ideas that you would like me to do for strangers, and for me to put videos or photos or something to hopeully inspire others to help create smiles. more... gofundme/k9zzs4
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 16:35:00 +0000
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