I was just watching a thing on TV about how professional cuddlers are all the rage right now. Yes. People pay people to cuddle them. PLATONICALLY! It seems like easy peasy money. Basically youre just getting paid to wear yoga pants and be horizontal, and those are both things that I am really good at. So of course I was all I COULD DO THAT! I COULD BE THE TOP CUDDLER IN AMERICA! I COULD BE RICH AND FAMOUS AND BUY ALL OF THE TINY ANIMALS IN THE WORLD AND THEN RETIRE FROM CUDDLING AND TRAIN THE ANIMALS TO PERFORM TINY ANIMAL VERSIONS OF FAMOUS BROADWAY MUSICALS AND THEY WOULD BE BELOVED BY ALL! Then I realized the one tiny roadblock standing in the way of my dreams. The Circle Of Patti. The COP is the imaginary circle that is made when I stick my arms out and spin around like Wonder Woman. That is the line that I dont like people to cross unless we are friends or you are invited in. Like, actually invited. Like youre a vampire and youre not allowed to come in unless I tell you so. If you come in the circle without invitation I am allowed to stick my arms out and start spinning and it will be like you just walked into a helicopter propeller. Good luck with that. So basically my whole Get Rich Cuddling scheme is on the back burner for now. Which is good news for all the other cuddlers of the world. Looks like Im not gonna steal your clients. At least until I get some medication for my intimacy issues.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Feb 2014 16:13:15 +0000
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