I was nursing a bottle of Old Noob Kentucky Bourbon and it was curing what ails me… a P.I. without a case, when the phone rang. It was Detective Knotta Clew. He was calling in a favor. I owed him one from the Case of The Forgotten Banana. “Listen Sam, I’ve got an important appointment I need to tend to, and we just got a call about a hit and run down by the docks.” I could hear the office party in the back ground singing a drunken version of Auld Lang Syne over the bluesy baritone sax playing in the dump across the alley behind my office. “This isn’t the best time to call in favors, detective,” I said. “I’m a little busy with a client of my own,“ I explained, refilling my glass with my favorite solvent. “Look Sam,” I need you to cover this one. It’s simple. Report came in of a hit and run on Despondency Drive and I can’t make it. It shouldn’t be too hard… the driver left his vehicle parked on top of the victim. Just take down all the information you can and leave it at the office. I’ll take it from there on Monday.” He hung up before I could find another synonym for “no”. I stuffed the cork back into the bottle and shoved a couple of Itsaboy cigars into my pocket, wriggled into my wrinkled trench coat, and jammed my fedora onto my head, pulling the brim down to my sunglasses and sauntered out into the grey streets which ran through my grey life like the sewers run beneath this smelly digital burg. The victim was still under the vehicle, a creaky old sled that might have been gaudy when it was new, sometime when Queen Victoria was considered hot. Now the gilded rig was creaky and the paint was flaking where it had bumped into too many yule logs. The fog had rolled in and the only sign of the driver was four or five empty bottles of Arctic Polish Vodka and boot prints heading north. Instead of the usual horses there was venison on the hoof, one of them had somehow managed to get onto a nearby roof. It must have been some accident… There wasn’t the usual milling bystanders eager to share their conflicting takes on what happened. It was dead quiet. It was going to be a long, silent night.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 19:50:41 +0000
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